Being in a daydream to boost my self esteem?

[daydream123]

I've been working with someone on a weekly basis who I thought was attracted to me. It gave me a little boost when I saw them (even though, if I'm honest with myself, I wasn't attracted to them). I found out recently that they are both gay and attached. I feel a bit bereft, I think because I'll miss the feeling of being attractive.

For context, I was overweight and bullied very heavily as a child. Nobody would come near me as a teenager, even when I lost the weight. I had my first kiss at 18, with my now husband, and I'm very happily married. I have no desire to have a relationship elsewhere, but I continually look for other people potentially being attracted to me, purely because it makes me feel better about myself.

I'm having counselling, but don't have an appointment until later this week. Does anyone else do this? Can anyone offer any words of wisdom? Please be kind. I know it's not normal.

It’s perfectly normal and tonnes of people do this, it’s just particularly healthy or kind to yourself.
You have to learn how to love yourself without others approval

• not! It’s not kind nor healthy!!

I crave this too (sounds similar low self esteem nobody interested when younger) and thought I had it with someone at work who has left me looking and feeling like a fool. Don't be me OP good look with the counselling.