Blocking ex friends and family

[onemoresmartie]

Hi everyone
I've posted before and just basically need to know if I'm doing the right thing blocking and deleting all my ex's friends and family

They haven't done anything wrong but he has met someone new and I can't help myself but keep looking and it's destroying me
I broke up with him after discovering him messaging other women and calling me a c**t to one of his friends for asking him to help out with petrol money when travelling to get him which is a 50 mile round trip.

I am not in a great place at the moment with my mental health but equally I don't want to play into his hands and then him saying to people 'see I told you she is a pysco' and I might bump into a couple of them and I don't want things to be awkward but I can't see any other way

I need to move on I know this and I can't seem to do it while I still keep being reminded that he exists and isn't even bothered when we only split 2 months ago

Yes. You are. And again. He is a complete arsehole who you are very well rid. KOKO.

I have seen so many of your threads, he was horrendous and you should block everything you need to.

Thank you
I just don't want to unfriend people and it reflect badly on me
I'm suffering at the moment

You ARE doing the right thing Smartie. It will be more difficult for you to heal and move forward with these comments continually in your line of sight. Go for it.

Just block them all.
If you bump into them, then just explain that you were finding it difficult and couldn't help looking, so for your own MH to had to block them.
If they are friends they will understand.

It will look like a direct result of a weekend family event that he took the new girl to though
Doesn't that make me look pathetic and bitter?

Nope, it looks like someone who is looking after themselves and no-one should judge you badly for that. I did the same with my ex's friends and family - as much as I adored them, I couldn't bear to see them all happy and laughing in photos with the woman he cheated on me with. I removed them all, but sent a message to the one I was closest to saying that it's not fair on him to have me lurking about so out of respect for his relationships I was removing his friends and family from my social media and I hoped they understood and didn't see it as a personal slight. That person repeated this to anyone who commented...but I think they all knew that it was more out of respect for myself than him!

I feel like most of them have only kept me so they can report back to him everything I'm doing

I deleted my ex husband's family and friends after we separated - and the separation was amicable. It's just that there is no point living in the past. I have to liaise with him because we have children but there's no need to interact on social media with his wider circle. That would seem like clinging on to them, which is far more pathetic than moving on with your life minus unnecessary baggage.

Dear lord ... remove the ex family and friends ... I always find it a bit creepy when ex's stay friends with family members it's like hanging onto a size 10 pair of jeans which don't fit and will never fit .. but hanging onto them for the off chance ... off chance of what ...?

And stop speculating about whether or not he is hearing about you via them. You are torturing yourself still. He is still an arsehole. Block them all.

I am going to do it
It seems like the only way as I can't stop myself from torturing myself and seeing things just upsets me and throws me off track where I can't focus on work, don't want to leave the house etc

@cookingonwine spot on!

OP, get blocking and get involved in hobbies to distract yourself. All the best

To me , not having to deal with his family and shit friends would seem like a huge advantage. If his mate thinks it is OK for him to call you a c**t , you don't want this creeps in your life.And remember , social media,is not RL. If he looks like his life is great without you, doesn't mean it is true.
Screw him and his shit life with his shit friends. You had a lucky escape!

I was thinking this might be the better option, I can deactivate it completely, it will be nice to have a break and at least that way I don't have to explain myself or have any awkwardness if I bump into anyone of his 'friends' or family
I tend to use insta more so I'll give that a go I think

I do have some of his family on instagram as well but not as much likely hood of his posinous face on it.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that is tempted to look....why do we do it to ourselves!! 🤦🏼‍♀️

I don’t think you have to deactivate. Stop giving others so much power over you! They don’t have any power over you - you’re throwing it under their feet!

Keep your Facebook. Block them. They’ll either not notice or think “Huh, I’d have done that ages ago if I were her”. If they think anything else a) they’re idiots and b) why should you give a shit?!

Time to take a deep breath and focus on YOUR life. These people do not matter.