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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sick of it

12 replies

crasstacean · 18/03/2019 19:20

I'm waiting for the marriage to improve... since having a child, it's awful. All we do is bicker. He constantly calls me a 'twat' for silly things, eg. forgetting to hang a clean wash out.
He's constantly exasperated with me, trying to get him to watch his language around DC, I try to tread carefully about reminding during a sweary outburst, but I usually get a 'yes, yes, YES! I know!' Or 'shut up!' I always get an apology afterwards. But I'm really tired of it.
It never use to be like this, he never spoke to me like this before, it feels like the relationship is just sinking deeper, and maybe there is no way it will improve.

No sex, it was a problem before DC, but now worse. I have quite a high sex drive, so this does bother me more than him. No real time spent together actually, any alone time we have he's either playing his games or watching his shows. (Use to be our shows, but he's too impatient to wait for me settling DC, so I don't watch anymore) the other day he put his headphones in and watched netflix as we sat down to dinner. I cried at the table.

I'm not getting anything from the relationship anymore. I have a roommate and financial security. That's it.

But I just wondered if anyone had been here, and it had got better? It's coming up on 2 years, and I don't know if I can take another.

OP posts:
Hazlenutpie · 18/03/2019 19:23

It sounds really awful for you OP. I really don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. Flowers

Pringlemunchers · 18/03/2019 19:23

I think he has already left the relationship. I am sorry.

driftingcloud · 18/03/2019 19:24

Got worse for me

Fuzzyheadache · 18/03/2019 19:29

Firstly, I would never think of speaking to my OH like that and I would be so upset if he did to me. Obviously, we do but usually it’s when we are having a laugh.

I did have a relationship like this once, went above and beyond with hints. I mean fully dressed up, set the scene for him to take a glance, walk straight to the living room, pick up the tea I had made and turn on the Xbox.
We broke up, moved out and on with our lives and about a year ago I walked passed him, despite having lived with him for a considerable amount of time, I had to think where I knew him from 😂

crasstacean · 18/03/2019 19:44

It started out jokey. The comments. Now he means it. I don't insult him, but I call him out on it, how I shouldn't have someone speak to me like that. There has definitely been a slow shift into this.
He's a loving and caring father, but that's not really the point, I don't want DC growing up thinking comments like that are normal.
I suggested counselling, he's not that into the idea. It's a lot of money supposedly.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 18/03/2019 19:48

I can't see things getting better any time soon, OP. I'd start making my arrangements to finish it tbh. Your dh isn't interested.

Fuzzyheadache · 18/03/2019 20:04

I’m glad he is a good father, but if that’s all he is in the family home, it’s time to move on.
Chin up

lifebegins50 · 18/03/2019 20:13

How long have you been together? When he apologises, do you feel its sincere, can you talk to him at that point about changing the behaviour? I yhonl of he is refusing to acknowledge his hurtful comments then there is a strong likelihood he will continue and indeed get worse.

AnyFucker · 18/03/2019 20:15

He is not a loving and caring father if he treats the mother of his child like shit

WhoKnewBeefStew · 18/03/2019 20:22

He’s not a good dad if he’s calling their mother a twat Angry

HeavenlyEyes · 18/03/2019 20:23

he sounds utterly dreadful

crasstacean · 18/03/2019 22:22

We're coming up on a decade together, married half that. It's not sounding very hopeful, but thank you for the responses.

OP posts:
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