Would you start a relationship/dating someone who says he will probably move back to his home country?

[Loka123]

Say you "met" someone online and you haven't met him in person yet but on the phone when asked about it, he says he's very likely to move back to his own country at some point in the future - would you still meet up with this person for an initial date and continue as normal or think it's a bit of a dead end?

On the one hand, I'm not looking for a marriage/kids and he did go on to say he didn't have any set in stone plans to definitely move back (but perhaps he's only saying that as he might have sensed/realized it could put me off him that he's thinking of moving)

BUT on the other hand, yes relationships can fail for all sorts of unexpected reasons so there's no guarantees anyway and who knows how he might feel in the future - but going into it knowing it's going to end because of him moving away (even if everything else goes well) seems pointless and silly as well.

By the way, the country he is from is a nearby one (one of the countries within the U.K) so it's not a huge distance but not somewhere I'd move and definitely impractical for a long distance thing if he shall move bac there permanently.

He has good reasons for it (his family, best friends, etc. are all there and he grew up there).

I know I'm overthinking it as I've not even met the person yet lol but I'm always the type to do things with some sort of purpose / permanence even when buying stuff, I always aim to buy stuff that will last me a long time than a quick temporary fix, I don't do things like holiday romances for the same reasons and meeting up with him will only be a few hours of my life but if it progresses, it could be months or years of my life before it ends because of the move...

hmm I'm very much on the fence about this - even going for the first date..!

It depends what you're looking for. Casual dating or a longer term relationship.

If it's the former, then go ahead.

Thanks @SandyY2K for your reply. If only it was that straight forward.. On one hand, I don't like the idea of marriage/kids but on the other hand, I'm not 100% set on just wanting casual flings.. I'm happy with it starting casual with a possibility for it to be long term (if all other factors work out)......

I guess one date can't hurt. See what he's like and if you have any chemistry when you meet in person.

You never know

Is he Irish?

I would say no. You've already identified an area where you don't share values and something that would be near impossible to overcome without significant sacrifice of the other.

If it's casual then there's no issue but if you fall for him and five years down the line he wants you to live in his home country, a d he will, what do you do? It feels like you'd be setting yourself up to fail, that doesn't seem very fair on yourself.

aws you describe yourself as a planner, and not interested in flings, then no I don't see the point! Why get involved (which can happen afetr one date) - is he the only one you have any interest in? Sounds like moving back is important to him, maybe he's mentioningit to filter potential ktr partners - that's honest.

*ltr partners

There are never any guarantees in life. And "all best laid plans" and all that. It could be the love affair of the century or a damp squib. I wouldn't be stressing too much about someone you haven't even met for coffee yet. Keep chatting and see where it leads. As long as you're both truthful to each other, you're each free to pull the pin. Good luck

Nope. Be sensible. It can only lead to heart ache. Why put yourself through that?

I did it a few times before I was able to say ‘no more’. If it doesn’t have the potential to be permanent, it’s only going to cause heartache.

Sounds like you are talking yourself out of meeting him. I actually think you have a lot in common - where you live (or imagine living in the future) is important to both of you. He wants to move back (eventually) to his home country to be nearer to friends and family and you say "it's not somewhere I'd move". Most successful relationships involve some compromise but many of us have things which are non-negotiable, although I wonder why you wouldn't move to another country in the UK? (Unless you are a lawyer, or similar, and would not be qualified to work in his country.)

I wouldn't waste my time. Plenty of local people to date. He's pretty much told you not to expect much from him.

Interestingly I went on a date with a guy who I got introduced to by a friend. On the first date he told me he plans to return to the US in a year or two. I think I thought 'oh he's warning me off' or whatever. I still see him regularly and we go things together as friends - it never became anything else. I'm not sure if I would have felt differently if he hadn't said that - I wasn't sure if I fancied him. But I really enjoy his company and we go nice things together.

I had a very long distance relationship in the past and I know what a heartache it is. But I'm not sure I'd be put off if someone was planning to move within the UK but I'm in my 50s and had all of that marriage and kids mullarkey.

Depends on whether you like where you live..! A friend has moved from UK to NZ for her partner and is very happy. Whereas, I dated someone from Ireland for over a year and was very happy. They then decided they wanted to move back and I realized I didn't want to go and that was the start of the end.

No