Should I tell him about ONS

[Back2Fronting]

I’ve been with DP for several years now. Relationship is in a really good place.

However it wasn’t always like this. We had a rocky start, mainly due to my fear of getting hurt having had my heart broken before. We broke up several times until I realised that I really loved this man and wanted to be with him and nobody else.

One time though, when we were broken up, I had a ONS with an ex. I felt terrible about it and it never happened again.

Now that we’re happy and going steady, I’m feeling racked with guilt about the ONS. I know if I confess, he’ll never get over it. I regret it so much. It was the biggest mistake of my life.

What should I do?

Thank you .

If it makes you feel any better...guilt wise...he may have done the same thing. You'll never know. It's neither one of yours business.

Loads of people go on a bit of a rebound quickly after a break up. regardless of whether they still care or love the other person.

If you tell him, you need to be prepared for him to admit he did exactly the same. Or to dump you for it. Even if he knows technically it's fine, it might not be something he's able to get out if his head or stop punishing you for (and therefore the right thing to do is to end it). You need to get over the idea that you did anything wrong so that you can let go of it.

Is it likely to get back to him? Is it about damage limitation or actual guilt?

Is it likely to get back to him? Is it about damage limitation or actual guilt?

It’s highly unlikely that it will get back to him. As I said it was a couple of years ago and if my ex was going to blab he would have done so back then and not now when he’s in a relationship and absolutely nothing to gain from saying anything!

You've done nothing wromg.
Equally neither has he if he had sex when you were separated.

Its only sex after all and I assume you were protected, so there's no health risks involved.

Back,
Even though everyone said not to feel guilty, it's obvious you still do. That being said, DON'T tell him now. There's nothing either of you can do to change the situation, and this will hurt him unnecessarily. It sounds like you love one another. Don't blow that up to assuage your guilt. Find someone to talk to; a therapist, priest, etc. and unburden yourself there.
I can almost promise you he wouldn't want to know. I wish my husband hadn't told me.
💙

Find a counsellor. It sounds like you're trying to sabotage a good thing, and you sound self aware enough to know that.
I don't think you've done anything wrong, and the fact that you're now obsessing over this probably means that you need to work out why so you can move on. A therapist will help you do that.
As Ross said to Rachel "we were on a BREAK"