I have had my fair share of difficult relations and learnt to have resilience and 'get on with things'. I have a lovely relationship and am very happy with my own life, but this is after a past of pain so I guess when difficult family situations arise it does trigger something deep inside for me.
My newly engaged future SIL is tricky. She is highly opinionated, insecure, loves an argument and attention seeks. My brother is quiet, really lacks communication skills and misses social cues. He is easily influenced and infatuated with his new fiance. It is lovely to see him happy as he too has had difficulties in the past but it is also tricky to watch him gradually change in personality through being with SIL.
My future SIL has taken a real dislike to my mum. My mum is friendly and chatty but she is an introvert and isn't a naturally warm person but is nothing but well-meaning in every way. I am very close with my mum, and my boyfriend really clicks with her so I think there may be a jealousy element too. I think SIL-to-be thinks because my mum does not shower her with love constantly that my mum dislikes her. She has started telling everyone who will listen this, acting a victim and demonising my mum.
I have gently challenged her on it and said it is not true but she is having none of it. My mum tries to take the approach of ignoring and just continues being polite and chatty, inviting SIL and my brother over regularly etc. She sent SIL a lovely text when they got engaged to say how excited she was.
It is getting to the point I cannot cope seeing my mum being so hurt and my SIL getting away with the attention seeking, dramatic behaviour. Yet I feel due to their personalities the ignore and take the higher moral ground approach is best. Any confrontation will lead to a complete fall out. I feel I have been through so much and learnt to be positive but I am feeling gutted that my brother is going along with it all and being pulled away. I guess I needed a rant, but also any words of wisdom would be useful.