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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

OLD advice

6 replies

rolos · 17/03/2019 16:54

Hey guys,

I’m new on the forum, first post. I’ve found this forum to be a great resource for advice on a wide variety of topics!

Was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. I’ve seen a guy I like the look of on POF, there’s just something about him. I haven’t actually signed up to POF but obviously can see his profile anyway.

I feel reluctant to sign up to POF as I’m from a really small place and I’m a really private person and I wouldn’t want people from my area knowing I’m on it. I know online dating is really successful for some and can be a great way to meet people and I don’t see anything wrong with it at all. But I feel like some people from my area would snigger about me using it, as I said, it’s a small place im from!

I feel like making an account to message the guy but without my photo , then moving the conversation onto what’s app and obviously he can see my photo on that. I feel better doing that than having my photos on POF then anyone in my area can see I’m using it. (Its a very small, gossipy place) and POF is very public which means anyone can see it! I have noticed other people stating on dating profiles that they prefer to be more private and not have all their info in the public domain, so maybe I’m not alone in thinking this way.

The guy is American and I’m from the UK, so maybe there is no point in messaging him? But I’m fairly young, 26, single, no DC, so I hope to get a fair bit of travelling under my belt (hopefully) in the future, so it’s not as if I’m tied to only meeting someone from the UK. I have been to where he is from before and would like to go again! It is exciting going on a date with someone when your visiting another country. Last year I went out for the night with a Canadian guy I met in Canada whilst on vacation and i really enjoyed the experience of going out with a guy from another country!

Anyway, sorry for the rambling. Would appreciate some input on this......

OP posts:
rolos · 17/03/2019 18:08

Bump :) anyone?!

OP posts:
Fonduefrolics · 17/03/2019 18:25

As a woman, I’d never respond to someone who didn’t display a photo as I’d assume they were married or attached. Not sure if men would be the same. There’s no harm in giving it a go with a nickname

falaff · 17/03/2019 18:46

You can create an account on POF and hide it so that you can message other people but you can't be seen. I've done that as otherwise you just get millions of messages! I think it's quite obvious from the settings if you dig around a bit.

crappyday2018 · 17/03/2019 21:41

You have nothing to lose by trying. However, you are making assumptions he will even bother to reply or won't be a complete time-waster (like pretty much all the blokes I've had messages from on there).
I would take @falaff 's advice and create an account with a photo but hide your profile. Then send him a message.

Musti · 17/03/2019 22:31

I took my picture off when I was on POF because I got lots of messages. When I just had a description it was more selective and better.

rolos · 18/03/2019 02:26

Thank you everyone for your replies!

I am going to make a profile with my photo and then make it private...And your right @crappyday2018 he may not even reply anyway!

OP posts:
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