I think my relationship is done

[Jtlb]

I feel like a single parent 99% of the time. I have to ask him to do stuff for the baby even after 15 weeks and he doesn't try bond with baby either yet he says it upsets him when baby screams at him cause he doesn't know who he his. Other half's life hasn't changed at all. When I was pregnant I told him I didn't want him gigging every weekend (he's in a cover band they don't need to get every weekend) yet for some reason they have more gigs this year than ever before. When he does do stuff for the baby it's either wrong or he goes a really backward way of doing things. The stress of him not been here for both me and the baby is making my hair fall out even more and my depression is at an all time high (not postnatal depression struggled with depression for 10 years) also when I try talk to him he doesn't listen and he wonders why I get angry with him. I don't think I can go on like this anymore I'm stressed, sleep deprived and on the verge of a breakdown. Sorry if this doesn't make much sense I just needed a place to vent my frustration

Awwwe sweet cheeks... can I just say you're doing amazing looking after your bubba... you know what she/he needs and you're thete rapid time to sort their need out...

I had this trouble woth my DH... (still do with his football, gym, working another job as he wants to set up his own business) and he has our son for 5 mins and he thinks he's a fucking pro... I'm like ate you fucking kidding me? His nappy is on back to front, you've measure the fucking milk wrong and he's crying because he's tired not because he's bored shit head!!!!!!

But... with the bond... and doing everything right, you've just got to try your very very very best to let him settle into it... I know it's hard to let go (my DH would ask his mother how to do something before asking me... he hates to admit that I might be better at something than he is)

But I had to let it go... the way he would just hand him back when he cried, or shouted at him when the baby cried, if just pick him up and take him away from him... but the more I pushed, shouted, told him he was doing it wrong it would push him away further... men like to be rigjt... he might resent you for picking this up straight away or being demanded upon so much thay it's taken your attention away from him... that's his shit not yours by the way, but allow him that time to figure stuff out for himself... take yourself back to the day you delivered the bubba and thinking Ooooh fuckin hell what do I do now... or when he cried after you changed fed, burped cuddled and pretty much stood on your head to try and make him stop crying? And still thought what the hell is wrong... men just need a little bit of time to adjust (yours a lot longer) just allow him that space to do it... make sure you look after yourself, take bubba out doing things you want to do... get yourself some clothes, get your hair dine, take bubba in the bouncer in the bathroom while you have a bath... get sleep(get your mum to watch the baby while you sleep) just remember your hormoans ate still a good enough reason to want to stab someone in the face for saying you look tired... it won't last... the sleep... I promise... and your partner will find his neiche with bubba, just let him do it without that pressure of him doing it wrong... just think it's not the way you do it but it might not be wrong... as long as the job is done... however he does thay is up to him Xx Xx

But remember you are so so important to your baby...you are5 his world and that is pretty special xxxxx

Without resorting to infantilising stereotypes about what men are supposedly like, he needs to understand that he's a grown up and this is his gig, now. If he doesn't understand what to do with a baby, there will be a blog about it.