Is this strange?

[summer151]

Hi. I'm just wondering if anyone else finds this really unusual. Separated almost a year from my husband due to his behavior. Lying stealing from me. Can't keep down a job no interest in doing thing with kids not pulling his weight re housework etc. anyway He had been living a couple of miles away. But he informed me yesterday he is moving directly across the street for me next week. He can almost see in the window of my house. He has been very emotional abusive since we split..threatening suicide... spreading lies... shouting and arguing with me in front of kids. He is in a new relationship and I'm afraid kids will b upset and confused by this new arrangement. I feel I will never be free of him.. and feel this is another tactic to try Nd watch and control me. Am I being unreasonable?

That's awful OP, I have no advice but what a horrible situation

If you aren’t happy with this and who would be, I’m sure his new partner wouldnt be either.

Have you reported any of the abuse? The suicide threats, yelling and shouting etc? If not, start doing it. Also, start doing a lot of all incidents. Get CCTV ASAP! So you have a recording of anything he is doing.

Don’t sway from anything you normally do. If he is approaching you constantly, making your life difficult in anyway, document and report. Ignore as much as possible. Have sheers, you knows the semi see through but not curtains?!? Not sure of the complete name! Where they can’t really see through your window but it lets light in.

Make sure your house is secure against him entering. That the kids know daddy isn’t allowed in.

How old are the children?

This sounds like a really horrible situation. I agree with the pp who said to start keeping records. If it becomes real problem I’d consider living which is ridiculous I know. But I wouldn’t want to have to live in such close proximity to a man like this.

Thanks to all who replied for their opinions really appreciate u taking the time to do so. Well it turns out he is not taking the room in house across the street as he can't afford deposit. He has to be out of the house by Friday and he asked me earlier if I'd let him stay for a few weeks until he saves for a deposit wen I said absolutely not he went mad. Calling me every name he could think of that I was horrible and heartless. We separated almost a year ago! He knew 2 months ago he had to find somewhere else to live but didn't bother his arse Saving any money for deposit but expects me to let him stay here when he has treated me like absolute shit for the last year he has given me nothing for the kids in the last month and I have been managing to pay all the mortgage and bills myself for almost a year and he can even manage to get a deposit for a room for himself. I'm so down about it all but I cannot give in to him as I will never get him out if he comes bk. He was so angry wen he left told my little girl who is 4 to fuck off wen she asked for a hug on the way out the door and shouted to me he hopes I die in a car crash and my little boy heard and asked why daddy said that. I'm heartbroken for them...

I'm sorry, op. Well done for saying no. Can you start keeping a diary? Keep a record of the fact he told your DD to fuck off and what he shouted at you in front of the DCs.

Yeah I have been keeping a record of everything I just hope I continue to have the strength to keep saying no. It's never ending..,

You've got to say no. He's a CF isn't he? NO, NO, NO!

Sending you 💪🏻

Keep saying NO or all of your work this past year will have been for nothing.

You can do this.

If it was me, if possible, I’d speak to the person renting out the rooms and tell them he’s financially irresponsible and aggressive etc. Hopefully then they won’t rent him a room even if he finds the cash.

wow, as if now you're free of him you'd let him move back in!!

He's obsessed, OP. Be careful!

He shouldn't be coming into your house from now on. He can't behave like a grown up, it's not fair on the kids to have that crap in their house. Sorry, he sounds dreadful x

Careful OP. You are doing so well without you and your children having him in your home. If you give in you'll find him even harder to get out again - and what more damage will he do to you and your children?

I'm assuming he doesn't have keys to the house? Can you put a chain on the door? How old is your son - does he know not to open the door (front or back)?

Can you see about putting a bolt at the top of both front and back doors to make it more difficult for the children to open the door if you are not in the immediate vicinity?

Ok, you need to block him completely.

He cannot have access to your children behaving like that.

Tell him you're blocking him, you've made note of the abusive behaviour and if he wants to arrange access, he needs to go to court.