Is this comment a red flag?

[Hollyboat]

In the car, had a long day at work. I say that i hope I’m feeling less exhausted for the weekend so I’m on form for x’s wedding.

He says you should want to be on form everyday.

This happened a while back but I have an upcoming date and want to try and be more careful who I date!

It depends how it was said and what the intent was. Did he mean that he was concerned that you're exhausted all the time? Or was it a complaint or a criticism?

Unless there is a huge back story I think you are massively reading into a complete non issue.

Not for me. No 'red flag' just common sense. Who wouldn't want to be on form every day. Why is that a suspicion line ?

Who said this, what was the context?

I sort of understand where he is coming from - the whole life is for living approach - but equally life is knackering and some people get more knackered than others. So either he is a positive thinker, or he could have a tendancy to be critical. Or he could be lacking in empathy.

Is there anytjing else that has had your red flags waving?

It sounds like a criticism to me.

Either that or one of those annoying preachy, zealous, get go 'em, ambitious, constantly reading business psychology, performance, improvement books,bcang switch off and slob type twats.

• can't switch off & slob

Sounds like he thinks your ex’s wedding should not be your priority. It’s not a red flag to me, but from his point of view, reading between the lines, are you focusing on the wedding too much?

I think you may have missed a bit (the point?) of your post, OP? That sounds like a normal conversation to me.

I'm quick to call red flags but not seeing one here unless there's a huge back story. An odd thing to say maybe but it's not like saying he wants you dressed up, perfect hair and make up every day and has said you should want to be your best every day in that way.
He's possibly wondering why you want to be on top form for your ex's wedding? Does he think you still have feelings for your ex?

Did you mean ‘x’s wedding’ as in your ex partners wedding, or ‘x’s wedding’ as in “Sarah’s wedding, but I am using ‘x’ so I don’t have to use my friends name on mumsnet”?

I took it to mean the latter, but I do think it changes the story a bit!

Oh. Sorry OP I assumed x meant x partner.

I think it’s a bit of a warning. He’s telling you what you ‘should’ do, telling you you should be at your best all the time and letting you know that he has that expectation.

Proceed with caution.

I wouldn’t want another date with someone who said that actually.

It really depends on how it was said. Is he the preachy I know what is best type?

I read it as a criticism too. A bit like when men tell you to smile.

I would be cautious, your intuition has kicked in and his comment stuck with you for a reason. I suspect you noticed something in his tone that made you uncomfortable. Listen to yourself.

Ah, ok, not necessarily your ex's wedding.

I agree that you should listen to your gut always. If it's telling you something, listen.

I would find that annoying and strange. Minimising/ shutting down the conversation.

Not a red flag to me.

Sounds ok

I think if you feel uneasy around a person it's usually for a reason.