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Relationships

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FWB and dating

3 replies

Sammiejo12 · 16/03/2019 19:01

Evening MNs

I recently wrote about my Male friend just disappearing on me, that disappearing act didn't last long and he was soon back in touch. With daily contact.

We've been "pen pals" for nearly two months now and last weekend we bumped into each other on a night out and ended up having a great time. He did come back to mine and stay but it felt so relaxed with no awkward moments, he stayed well past lunch the next day and he started to open up about his ex, their relationship hadn't been right for a while, he was stuck in a rut but she ended it and now is with someone only a few weeks after they broke up. (November time).

He's told me that the fact that the relationship went sour and the break up wasn't amicable that he's pretty cut up about the whole thing and is quite scared to get into anything new and heavy.... which is totally cool with me however I don't want to just get into a FWB scenario and he knows this, I've told him out right.

This is more of a rant than a question for me to just see it on paper but he hasn't suggested for definite about doing anything even though we speak everyday.

He wanted to come over for lunch today but my friend was round and he's out tonight with friends.

I'm getting itchy feet about him not planning anything, it's all maybes, I'll try, might do.... in my mind that means no... his argument is that he doesn't want to let anyone down... what a rubbish excuse.

Do you recon this guy is just using me for sex, but if that was the case surely he would put a plan in place for a booty call, he can't even arrange that without it being a maybe 🤦🏻‍♀️.

I haven't suggested anything because I know I'll just get a maybe I'll try answer.

My closest friend knows him really well and vouches that he isn't a using type guy and he is being honest but once bitten twice shy and all that.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 17/03/2019 00:56

He’s told you he doesn’t want a relationship in words. He is continuing to tell you he doesn’t want a relationship, in actions. Believe him. It doesn’t sound like he’s being disingenuous. He’s not arranging anything, because he doesn’t want this to be anything more than it is. You’re trying to make it more. Stop thinking about sex in terms of “being used” (sex isn’t something that women are gatekeepers of to reward men with), part ways with this man, work on your emotional literacy, then in future don’t get into situations like this trying to change the minds of men who are telling you what they want.

HappyLife21 · 17/03/2019 01:03

You don’t want a FWB scenario but you are having sex with a man who doesn’t want a relationship? Confused

How does that work?

C0untDucku1a · 17/03/2019 01:06

Move on

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