How do you make friends when you are in your 50s and you met your partner via OLD?

[NotSureThisIsWhatIWant]

That’s the question really. I have some very strong life long friendships but I am living away from home, I met my boyfriend via OLD and he is anew to the area. My kid is in 6th form, his kids live an hour away.

I have never had problems in making friends but now with a busy job that requires me to work long hours, most of my friends moving away, or without the time to join classes, clubs, etc as my ever changing schedule doesn’t allow me a regular free night. My boyfriend is pretty much in the same boat as he has a long commute and as a result, we are spending quite a bit of time with each other but we miss having a extended group of friends (couples).

How do you about it at this age when you cannot meet more people at the school gate or in extracurricular activities? I don’t socialise much with people from work outside of work time (they are always busy with their own lives) neither does he (his colleagues are much younger than him so they are in a completely different stage in their lives)

I think we need more social interaction, we do have a good time together but I don’t want him to become “the only friend in my life”

You say you are super busy and don't have any time for anything, but then you want some friends. When will you have time for friends if you don't have time for anything else?

Are you busy at weekends?

Visit the local pub/gin bar regularly. We are your age and often pop in before going out to eat.
What sort of area do you live in? You could always try inviting neighbours round for drinks on a Friday evening or a weekend lunchtime. A card through the door isn’t intrusive and the worst that can happen is they don’t respond.
All the usual hobby clubs and the gym as well but if you don’t have that much free time,those can be too much of a commitment.

I'm with the first reply really - you make friends with people you get to know through spending time with them.

If you'haven't got time' to join anything or belong to anything, then you can't really expect to start getting to know people.
You can belong to things or volunteer for things on a part time / flexible basis.

Like the idea of the neighbours, they are a lovely bunch that I would like to socialise more with even if they are way older than us.

We have alternate weekends free (when he is not with his kids), I know quite a good number of single/divorced/widowed parents (I have been divorced for a long time and we tend to stick together) but most of them wouldn’t be up for meeting at night for obvious childcare reasons and although most of them are happy to bring their kids if we are having a girls night in, they don’t feel like going out with us as a couple, it is just as the dynamic of the night changes when there is a”man” among us, I also used to decline offers when I was the “uncoupled” one)

I spend a lot of time at work but I have very strong relationships with my colleagues, and often have lunch with them but again, is kind of a women’s thing.

It is more about finding a way to make friends with more couples, we are both very social, he also have strong friendships and used to meet weekly with his group of friends down south. They are too far now.

We both like reading, and days out at the coast/hills, he is into tennis and golf, I cannot follow a ball to save my life...

My partner has recently made friends through golf, looking for other players by joining a Facebook group. And our local tennis club is always looking for new people to help out on the committee. So I would think these are ideal places for your partner at least to meet new people, they may have partners like me (no hand/eye coordination so ball sports out!).

So I would think these are ideal places for your partner at least to meet new people, they may have partners like me (no hand/eye coordination so ball sports out!).

Erm... where are you based Ark?

😁

I’ll suggest him to do that, we have a tennis club a couple of blocks away, and a golf course around within a mile. I’ll try to find them in Facebook. Thanks

Hehehe south-west UK

I'm in a similar situation to you. I have developed a couple of acquaintance-type relationships into friendships (friends of friends I've got to know better). It does get harder as I get older.

I know, I never had a problem making friends while we had kids sharing the same activity etc but it is difficult to start talking to people if there are not many places where you can actually stop and talk.

I never thought I would say this but I miss the school gates!

Ps. I’m at the other end of the country otherwise I would trying to arrange something already

Fuck that, making friends at work is waaaaay easier than school gates.

I’m still meeting with friends I met at work 30 years ago, but when it comes to meeting other couples, having children the same age makes things much simpler.