I’m so sad....

[Glitterkitten24]

My DH doesn’t seem to be able to standby being in a relationship with me. Two dcs 7 and 3. He is supporting me while I study this year, I am due to recommence employment in August, so money has as been tough this year.

But it seems like he hates me. Everything I do is wrong. Tonight he’s in a mood cos he set up potable DVD players in the kids room even though he knows I don’t like TVs in bedrooms. I didn’t make a big dral about it in front of kids, but he knew I didn’t approve, it’s not the end of the world as far as I’m concerned. He cannot communicate and huffs off to bed when’s I’ve apparently done something wrong, so usually j have no idea what is wrong and how to fix it. He says things that makes me think he is planning on leaving me as soon as I’m back in employment. And part of me wants to tell him to just fuck if back to his Mum’s if he is planning on leaving anyway. He’d say sex (lack of? Is an issue but 3/4 of nights he storms to bed in a huff without me...it really doesn’t make me feel in the mood.

Except that’s not what I want. I want to be able to communicate. I want my marriage. I’m so cross that he can’t see the damage he isn’t doing to our marriage by fucking sulking.

I don’t even know why I’m posting other than I don’t know what to do for the best.

I am so embarrassed about all the typos in the Op, disgraceful! 🙈🙈

Right. You should be angry, not sad.

Have you thought about using Relate, or something similar? It sounds as though there is something by going on in his head that you need to know about. Is it that money is tight and he resents it? I hesitate to suggest it, but is there an OW? Something's going on...

I know everyone says it, but I’d stake my mortgage on no ow. He doesn’t go out much, doesn’t have too many friends so the opportunity isn’t there. Not often on his phone etc. I don’t think that’s it.

It’s us. I don’t really know why. And I get so angry that I don’t know why he’s feeling like this. I posted on Mumnet tonight to stop me texting his mum to come and get her fucking manchild and take him home to be looked after. Except obviously that’s not fair cos he’s a 40 he old man, not an errant teenager!

Relate is a great shout- I’d be willing but I don’t think he would be.
I’m embarrassed to even admit I don’t know exactly how he’d feel about that because he just sulks off when he’s in a mood. I cannot get a word out of him about what’s wrong, why, how we can fix it. We just don’t talk and it’s pathetic.

I just want it to be good again.

And it could be that money is tight- it is tight, but not impossibly so. We are ok, and the end is in sight, but I don’t underestimate the strain that’s put on us, I have always had my own income before now. X

I just want it to be good again.

Have you suggested relationship counselling to him?

You need to talk to him OP.

He is sulking so you will have to confront him on it.

Can you get kids looked after for a few hours and talk to him? I'd be bullish about his sulking and ask him for communication on what his issues are. Explain how frustrating it is when he closes up and how it will be a 1 way ticket for your relationship.

He is possibly feeling the stress of being sole earner, but presumably he agreed this with you in advance and just has to stick it out as it isn't forever. Is he worried about your social circle at Uni perhaps? There may be other issues he has around that.