Date with (soon to be LDR) ex last night - lay it on the line or wait to visit each other?

[RubyN]

I was only with my ex for a few months last year, when we decided to break it off on a night out after one too many. I've regretted the way we went about it ever since - but still he didn't seem willing to put the effort in to things and felt he wasn't in a good place for a relationship (he's been itching to move abroad for ages - he isn't happy in this current city where he was born and wants to try out a new kind of life. I totally understand, I've done the same). So with a mutual reluctance to not do LDR, we broke up but decided to remain friends.

Now after that I expected not to hear from him again. But that was 3 months ago and we've only grown closer as friends. He has been consistent in making plans with me and in keeping in touch/being there for me.

Last night we had dinner together, supposedly a goodbye before he moves in a week: BEST.DATE.EVER. We stayed at dinner for 3 hours, laughing and talking, some outrageous flirting, and then went on to a bar for another 3 hours. He told me he still intends to move abroad but that he's more open to trying different places - he even said he's provisionally looked at jobs in the city I may be moving to to study for a semester. There were a couple of moments when we both stopped talking & stared into each others eyes and I thought 'oh shit, this is serious, much more than a fling'. Unfortunately the 'goodbye' took place on a crowded train, he hugged me and we kissed cheeks then he clearly moved towards my lips but I dunno - I didn't feel I could kiss him as I wanted to and I think I held back out of fear also. He took my hand and squeezed it then got off the train. I've had a terrible, physical ache in my chest all day.

My feeling is that we have both sort of mutually regretted breaking it off - but we're both 25 and not sure where our jobs or studies will take us in the next year. We're obviously both flexible and he has said he'd like to visit me and vice versa once he goes. He's probably coming back for a few days at the end of the month and I'm wondering - should I just make the move this time? Should I lay it on
the line, kiss him & make it clear this is going to be more than a friendly thing OR leave it and see how things unfold in future if we visit each other?

I'd lay it on the line. Otherwise you'll be plagued with "what ifs".

My future DIL did just this, with my son. They've been together ever since (3 years). They are younger than you, but already are committed and their careers will most certainly mean posts over seas, but they have agreed they will take it in turns, to follow each other and always stick together.

You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

Thank you Huskylover. As I say, I sort of expected things to peter out when we broke it off but feelings have only grown.

I thought my feelings were stronger than his but after last night I feel I got that wrong. I feel so happy and alive when we're together/sad about the prospect that I won't be any real part of his life when he leaves. The good thing is we discussed where we see ourselves living and we're both open to similar places in Europe.

I'm a bit afraid to rekindle things again in case he rejects me...but it seems like the right thing to do.

Would also appreciate other perspectives about making a move during his short return trip/waiting until we visit each other. 🙂