Trust issues

[whattodo12345]

Okay. So I'm going to try and make this short!
Basically I have been with my boyfriend nearly 2 years....when we first got together I thought things were amazing we never got proper serious as he was going away for 6 months but just before he went away and discovered he had still been seeing his ex as well as me!
Anyway....he said he was sorry blah blah, promised me it was me he wanted and he would never hurt me again! So I decided to give him another chance!
He went away for 6 months and while he was away lived with another girl in a hostel for 10 weeks while he was away! I was paranoid about them as they spent all there time together and was really weirdly close friends!
Anyway he got home and everything was great for a while but then I still had this paranoid feeling about him and this girl!
Turned out my gut was right and they had been sleeping together and telling each other they wished things were different! I confronted him and he said it was only once and he regretted it etc and it had been so long blah blah!
Anyway once again I forgave him!

Fast forward and nothing has really happened since....except I'm paranoid as hell!
That's he's messaging her behind my back (I told him he can't speak to her and caught him hiding messages to her again)
I'm just wondering if my paranoia will ever go?

You don't have trust issues

You have an untrustworthy partner.

This is nit paranoia, it'sa totally rational response to someone repeatedly cheating.

Unless you can live with infidelity, get rid

What?! Your boyfriend cheated on you for long periods of time twice. You are right not to trust him, he is not trustworthy.

I'm trying to understand why you would remain with someone who has so little respect for you?

Yea sometimes I wonder why I'm still with him but I really do love him!
I have never felt like this about anyone and really want us to work out and am scared if I let him go I'm never gunna find anyone again!
I did try and leave him once and he threatened his life so said I would give him 1 last chance but I always feel like he's hiding his phone!

The issues aren't your lack of trust, the issues are your partner. You are right not to trust him.

Thank your gut for sending you the right direction and leave as quickly as possible.

I feel I'm stuck!

Can't live with him but can't live without him either 😖

Of course you can live without him. You are a whole, complete human being, fully functional all by yourself.

Him threatening suicide to make you stay is a massive red flag. This man does not sound good.

He said it wasn't a ploy to make me stay!
Just that he needed to tell me how low he was and how he can't live without me!

Writing all this down is making me realise what a mug I am 😖

Im sorry all this “cant live without someone” is ridiculous, of course you both can.

Ask him if he was thinking that about you when with those other girls... you are wasting your time with him, find someone more worthy of you

He said it wasn't a ploy to make me stay!

Bollocks.

Next time he plays this card, just call 111 and alert the police. (This is official advice from the Samaritans, BTW. If someone tells you they are going to take their own life, call the police and let them sort it.)

Unless you're happy with a non-monogamous relationship, you're going to have to dump him. He's clearly not monogamous, and clearly a liar. He wants the rewards of monogamy (sex on tap, sex without a condom) without the commitment of it.

Bullshit, anyone threatening suicide when someone else tries to leave a relationship is manipulation!!! It doesn’t matter what he says, it’s his actions🤯. You should be able to leave any relationship without any kind of manipulation. Maybe asking for you to stay, that he loves you but none of this I will kill myself if you do! That makes you feel responsible for his life. No one is ever responsible for anyone else’s life, ever.

He is a cheating bastard who lies, manipulated and just overall is a shit.

You need to leave now. Get out while you see the light somewhat!

He will keep cheating.

Dump him and move on.

It’s your choice to decide if the pay off is worth it of course but to my mind you’ve got a fundamental liar and cheat who threatens suicide to keep you in a relationship with him.
It’s not great is it?

Of course he can live without you. He already has for 6 months. The problem is he can’t live with just you.

You shouldn’t trust him at all.

He can’t live without you but fucked off for six months and lived with someone else, while expecting you to wait for him.

And again I say,

I am reminded of a friend’s words to me some years ago.
“Never judge someone by what they say, but by what they do “

Actions speak louder than words.

You don’t have trust issues. You mistrust him because of what he does.
He is not to be trusted.

Two years is an established relationship so I understand that it’s a dreadful wrench to write it off. But it’s not so long as you can’t chalk this one down and live to see another day.

Writing all this down is making me realise what a mug I am

Finally! The reason you don’t trust him is for bloody obvious reasons, the reason you stay in a relationship that is harming your emotional well-being, are les so.

You aren’t without power, you’re just choosing not to exercise it to your benefit.