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Original poster

Married, kids but curious

17 replies

Taylor12 · 15/03/2019 08:52

Good morning!
Ive been happily married for 15 yrs and have a 12 yo and 10yo boys. I adore all three. I have always had curious feelings for women for about 10 years now. If I pleasure myself it's thinking or online watching two women not a woman and a man. So does this make me Bi or just a bit curious. I don't know what to do or who to talk to all my friends are married housewives and before anyone asks I would never dream of telling hubby. I would like to explore these feelings a little further but I'm so scared.

OP posts:
LangCleg · 15/03/2019 09:03

Likely best for the relationships board.

This is feminism chat.

Hot4Holes · 15/03/2019 09:04

I think it’s quite common.
I don’t think it gives you an excuse to have an affair though.

donajimena · 15/03/2019 09:06

Ask for this thread to be moved. Don't know why you posted it here.

waxahatchee · 15/03/2019 09:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Taylor12 · 15/03/2019 09:10

I'm trying to move it. Give me a chance it's my first ever post I must say your all so welcoming Not!!

OP posts:
waxahatchee · 15/03/2019 09:12

Don't worry about them Taylor Smile

MNHQ
AnyaMumsnet · 15/03/2019 09:13

Hi there OP,

We've moved this to relationships for you now.

Original poster
Taylor12 · 15/03/2019 09:36

Thankyou wax

OP posts:
Original poster
Taylor12 · 15/03/2019 09:40

Thankyou Waxahatchee, no idea how to DM just yet but look forward to a chat.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 15/03/2019 09:42

I think it’s relatively common; I know several couples who’ve opened up their relationship so the DW can explore how she feels about women (contrary to a general belief that it’s always men who drive this sort of dynamic.)

Why wouldn’t you consider telling your husband? How strong is your relationship? He might be amenable to you exploring; and if he isn’t then it doesn’t need to go any further.

SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad · 15/03/2019 09:44

It's quite simple. If you want to explore this, you need to talk to your husband. He may well be open to your exploring this together, or you doing it yourself.

If you insist that you don't want to talk to him, then the only way for you to explore this is by cheating. Which makes you the bad guy, irrespective of who you're cheating with. It would meanyoh were deliberately setting out on a planned course of action that you know would hurt your husband. Is that who you want to be?

MLC69 · 21/06/2019 11:58

I'm in the same boat with the thoughts of other women.

NewMe2019 · 21/06/2019 12:12

First post which looks forward to chat about women together.......

When I read your OP I immediately thought it was written by a man, they tend to have a different style of writing.

MrsElizabethShelby · 21/06/2019 12:24

Your not alone OP, only for me I think I am comfortable accepting that I am Bisexual as I still lust after my husband as well as women.

My DH would not be open to me experimenting and I wouldn't want to either, as in him I feel I have found my forever. However we do enjoy female on female porn together sometimes.

It does make me very sad I didn't realise this about myself when I was free and single though, the fun I could have had! Wink

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 21/06/2019 12:59

I would like to explore these feelings a little further but I'm so scared

What does "exploring" these feelings look like to you? If your plan is to enjoy these feelings with masturbation and erotica but never to tell your husband or take it into the real world, then that's cool - go for it.

You could try talking to your husband and see how he feels about it. He may be amenable to opening your relationship - who knows, maybe he has bi feelings for men that he would love the chance to act on as well? Or maybe he fancies other women and you could both have other girlfriends.

But if you are adamant that you could never tell your husband then you don't have many other options. You don't get a pass on cheating because it would be with a woman not a man - don't kid yourself that it's somehow so important for you to explore this side of yourself that it overrides your obligation to not cheat.

And be aware - a married woman in a committed straight relationship who also wants a secret girlfriend to get her off but won't ever acknowledge or leave her husband for is....something a lot of lesbians and bi women are all too familiar with. It's not all that appealing to be some straight girls secret fetish toy.

FuriousVexation · 21/06/2019 13:02

"Pleasure myself"
"Hubby"
"All my friends are married housewives"

Yep, you totally sound like a woman in 2019 🙄

HollowTalk · 21/06/2019 13:02

When I read your OP I immediately thought it was written by a man, they tend to have a different style of writing.

Exactly what I thought.

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