Can I trust my husband UPDATE

[ptaszek]

Well im a bit stuck now how to find out anything.

(husband kept 12k loan from me and got really arsy when I questioned him about it and told me it was none of my business)

Felt uncomfortable doing it but have been thinking of ways to check this out to see if I can find why this happened as talking to him again might result in the same. He has a suitcase in his office (at home) which was locked but had stuff in. I managed to open it but it was just filled with chargers for phone and toothbrush which he would use when travelling for work.

I feel that so many things are online these days and on phones I have not chance in finding anything out. He has fingerprint passwords on phones (one phone for work and one for him personal)

Would love any suggestions as this is on my mind all day.

You don't really have a relationship left if you're ready to resort to this sort of thing.

I suggest, (if you're ready to follow through), you sit him down and say either you 'fess up to whatever's going on, or I'm splitting up with you.

Does he have an iPad you can access? I got all the keychain passwords that way through security settings and also shared iCloud to all devices. My world opened up and I found sh*t I could never imagined. Brace yourself he's clearly very good at hiding this stuff!!

You're right. A lot of things are online only. You may never find out.

Apart from this issue, do you have a good marriage?

Are you close and intimate? Do you enjoy each other's company?

Does he treat you well?

Is this a relationship worth having, "proof" or no.proof ?

From experience it's for your own sanity I guess! 12k has gone somewhere and that money is your as much as his so I'd be wanting to find out.

check Experian for his credit report to see what the debt situation is really like.
he could be gambling, paying for hookers or drugs.....you might never find 'proof'.

his attitude and lying has killed your relationship.

This will eat you up, the trust has gone. I’d be talking to a solicitor and getting all my paperwork in order. As you’re married, what has he secured the loan against? You may find yourself liable if he defaults on any payments. You need to know where you stand, but I believe from experience your relationship is over, he won’t talk to you and he doesn’t respect you or your marriage.

'fess up to whatever's going on, or I'm splitting up with you.

He will have to fess up either way. Or lose out on a generous financial split on divorce.