Was this domestic abuse??

[mummajuju90]

I met a man 6 months ago its a log story sorry if i drag on i really need advice. Ive been theough abuse before for 10 yeaue this really doesnt feel that way. No one else took me for dinner or treated the kids to days out or treated them to magazines on good behaviour. Etc. We went for dinner once a month got a weekend away atleast once a month my family adored him and the way he treated me i have fallen so hard for him. He wasnt afraid of house work would tell me u chill ill do dinner n tidy..he was good at it too 😂
Our sexlife was amazimg there was such a connection there both sides me myself have never felt it before he said he hasnr either but now here comes the complicated bit hes a alcoholic je wasnt doing what he was supposed to do to keep sober but now he peomises he will so he had a relapse nearlt 2 weeks ago. I did provoke and retaliate winding him up but he did turn around pin me by the throat on the bed but i did the same suprised i wasnt tbh.
He was arrested and being charged with common assult says hes never done it before and he doesnt blame me if i walk away he remembers nothing i will tell him it all in time but atm i domt want to risk another rreplap its so deadly for him. He isnt currently allowed near unless i drop it. I am so confused what to do. He saod can we do councilling together to try fix it i have agreed i need my answers too.
What do you guys all think abuse or could it be a one off and with work it may be able to be fixed??

It’s not for us to tell you what to do but PLEASE I’m asking - give yourself some space before you see him again to figure things out. Do the freedom programme again. Can you also get some therapy for yourself to figure things out and work on why you need him so much? In my town there is a women’s centre that offers very low cost counselling. You are confused because he seemed so decent. You are making excuses for him: he’s been sober for two years, he only held your throat, you say you ‘provoked’ him. This sort of thing really scares me. I know that there is absolutely NOTHING the women in my life could do that would result in their partners pinning them down by the throat. That is not normal. Your man did it to you after 6 MONTHS of knowing you. I am scared and angry on your behalf and scared and angry by how frequently questions like this pop up on mumsnet. Something is so seriously wrong in the way men feel able to treat women. Even if you don’t want to move on to a new relationship please keep your distance for now to give yourself time to think. And do what the police and freedom people advise. I know if someone held me down on a bed by my throat I would tell the police and keep on telling them. I wouldn’t know who else who would go on to do it to. You sound so confused. Good luck. 🌷

hoping you don't live together as it's only been 6 months so it should make it easier for you to leave.