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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is my marriage finally over.

2 replies

Buzzbear34 · 14/03/2019 11:42

Hi
My husband and I have been together for 16 years married for 10. Throughout this time he's always worked and is very rarely home before 9 each night, goes at 8 each morning.
I've noticed a huge change in his behaviour towards me he gets very agitated and is losing the head over small things and on 2 occasions thrown things at me.
During college exams he picked a major fight the night before the 1st exam and it would continue until the last exam finished wen he would be sorry. I had the biggest exams of my career this week and low and behold the night before he lost the head with me over not knowning the account number for the bin😏. It turned into a huge argument that ended with me in complete bits. Only then was he sorry and tge cups of tea were flowing.The stress of my exams and the hurt that he wud fight as per.
We had a terrible Christmas. Our anniversary was yesterday neither said ANYTHING I not speaking to him.
Our relationship is spent with me waiting for him to come home then he eats watches a tv show then bed. This is our life. He invited me to dinner very very rarely but that's only wen his mates are home. We eat then meet all his friends I'm always the only girl.
I do everything in the house. We have no quality time together because he wants to help his dad out every weekend and most evenings. This has always been a problem I've told him how lonely I am in our marriage he promises change and is good for a week then back to normal. The last time we meet for coffee was 3 years ago😏I'm always asking to do things but he's always buzzy. We have kids there great ages of 14, 8, and 9. He's always to tired to play with them it's heart breaking. My son waited outside the window in the cold with his football shouting in at him to please play football, it broke my heart.
No quality relationship, no quality time not from a lack of trying.
A few weeks ago he said he was taking me away for our anniversary and exam relief, I mentioned last week how I was so excited to go but he didn't remember.
Any advice

OP posts:
ScatteredMama82 · 14/03/2019 11:47

Why are you staying with him OP? He's not there for you, he's not there for your children. He's started to throw things at you. If I were you I'd be leaving him. Quite apart from the damage to you, what do you think it's doing to the kids seeing him rage at you like that? You'll get good support on here, so keep posting and good luck x

AttilaTheMeerkat · 14/03/2019 12:25

Have you considering divorcing him?. Stop flogging a dead horse here (you cannot rescue or save this on your own and he clearly is not interested).

Why are you with him still, what are you getting out of this?. He throwing things at you is an example of domestic violence.

Do not stay with him just because of your children here; they also deserve a calm and non abusive environment as well as you do. Is this really the model of a relationship you want to be teaching them?.

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