Not sure what to do!

[Hannahml04]

Me and my partner have been together for 3 years. He has a 4 year old son who I love dearly and I play an active part in his life. I am also currently 7 months pregnant with our first child together. For the past year I've been so on my own. I work part time (20 hours a week) but I'm also at university studying nursing and my partner works full time. My partner just expects me to look after his son so I bath him, dress him, feed him, take him to school, help him learn.. and his dad is just the "fun dad". On a weekend he doesn't get out of bed until 12 o'clock sometimes. My dad is also terminally ill with cancer so I also look after him a lot. My partner never cooks tea, puts a load of washing on, cleans up after himself.. I'm just his personal assistant. Sometimes I don't get home until 8 o'clock at night and his son isn't ready for bed.. the pots are all on the side and it's all left for me to do and he is just playing his Xbox.

I'm exhausted. I'm starting to resent my partner and I'm so unsure what to do. I just want to leave! Am I being unreasonable? I've tried talking to him but he just plays the "money" card.. as I earn very little i do rely on him a bit to support me. I do contribute as much as I can towards bills and I literally leave myself with £50 a month. HELP!

Oh blimey 😐
He needs a reality check. Sounds like my exH

Does his boy live with you full-time?

You are being completely reasonabl btw. Is he feeding his child?

Poor soul! Have you actually talked to him about it? As in sit down and have a chat and tell him how much you've got going on and that you need more help. What can be done to make your life easier?

Leave him, he's not contributing anything other than money. He obviously thinks it's a woman's job to take care of the house and children.

My husband works fill time 60 hours. I don't work at all. We have 4 kids. I do the housework mainly but on his days off he will cook the dinner, wash the dishes, and always gets the kids ready etc. Also if I say I haven't had chance to do something he will happily do it. It's a partnership

What you have is a lodger. Even them a lodger would be expected to pick up after themself

Yes he does. So its just constant..

You’re literally doing everything for him and the money should mean nothing. I’m a SAHM and DH supports us, yet if he comes home and sees that I’ve had a stressful day and haven’t managed to do something he will do it as we are partners. He also helps to parent the DC as they are his children too, as should your partner!.

His little boy lives with us full time so it's just constant..

I've tried talking to him for the past year and he promises to change but he never does. It just falls on deaf ears. He does feed him but he doesn't feed himself? So when I get in he expects me to cook tea for the both of us.

So basically you're his live in housekeeper and nanny?

What did he do before you came along? Where is your DSS Mum?

That’s just awful. I’d seriously think about going somewhere for a week (back with parents??) so he can see how much running around you do. If he has to be present to do all the school runs, washing, cooking, buying food etc I think he will get a real wake up call. You should be looking after yourself at this exhausting stage, in fact, no, he should be looking after you. Getting out of bed at midday at the weekends is an absolute disgrace. And how does he do all this work? Because you look after his son.
Sorry, I’d be furious with him.

You can’t sustain this as you are heavily pregnant. What does he think is going to happen when the baby arrives? Sounds like he will still expect you to do everything.

Can you stay with your father as he is in need of your help at the moment? I'm afraid your partner is in need of a reality check!