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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Developed feelings so ran away

3 replies

Fl0w3r · 13/03/2019 18:34

I've posted a few times on here about feeling so not ready for a relationship and if I'm honest I think it's time to think differently to the "ideal" I've always had in my head. Which is something I'm still processing.

I recently became very close to a man who lives nearby, his company is so easy to be in, we get along amazingly, he's hot and he makes me laugh and I think it's quite safe to say I'm very fond of him.

But then that's where I start to get scared. Because whenever I'm not with him I think about him, we could have seen each other 5 minutes ago and I miss him.

Nothing has happened between us bar spending a lot of time with each other but I know I can't let someone in right now. And I'd prefer to have this person in my life forever even if it was just a best friend. Rather than date and have fun and then let it fizzle out.

So I half explained this as I think he feels the same and he told me because he has feelings for me he thinks it's best we stay away from each other.

Anyway I'm just rambling, I know it's the right thing to do. But the selfish part of me wants to go knock on his door and fall into his arms and tell him I miss him and I'm confused 😔

Looking for reassurance I've done the right thing and it's ok to feel this way.

OP posts:
clemmy0m · 13/03/2019 18:46

I haven't read your other post so don't know your reasons but I would take the risk, if you get on that great you could have a life long future together as partners. It sounds like you may risk any sort of relationship due to his feelings. Good luck with what ever you decide.

clemmy0m · 13/03/2019 18:48
  • you may risk any sort of relationship with him due to his feelings for to and wanting space
Fl0w3r · 13/03/2019 18:53

@clemmy0m we only last saw each other this morning, I messaged him in the afternoon to check in about our "friendship".

I'm just so anxious and scared about it going any further but what I do know is I want him in my life.

I feel that I'm not at a point where I could commit to someone, I want to be open to new experiences (that doesn't mean sexual) I just want to feel free! I want to have time to figure stuff out.

I'm also scared of affection but always have been.

The other thing I worry about is he's 17 years older than me, so whilst I'm at this "figuring it out" stage, he's at a stage of, you're a lovely young lady and life is for living.

Maybe I should give it a few days and see how we feel? I will no doubt bumb into him... we live 5 houses away 🤦🏼‍♀️

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