I want to end my relationship but my partner won't leave because I haven't give him enough reason

[mc1999]

I need some advice, I'm in a unhealthy relationship and I want to end things properly this time without any having to get police or social services involved.. I want him to leave but he knows I won't ring the police because social will get involved..

SS will have seen this many times. They will help you.

While, I understand that you could do with more support, it really is awkward for family and friends to become actively involved again, if you have taken that partner back again several times. I get you are so browbeaten and feeling so low that it all seems an unsurmountable uphill struggle but you will have to take some form of action. If the house is in your name and you asked him to leave repeatedly, then you should be perfectly entitled to change the locks. Have a locksmith on standby or buy new barrels and put up extra bolts etc, the moment he leaves the house. Then pack up his stuff and arrange for a neutral space to hand his stuff over. You won’t even have to confront him if you don’t want to. Perhaps your family just need to see you make the first step and then will be there for you if you actually carry it through this time.

Okay guys Thankyou for ur advice, isn't there a service that could be right near me for when I kick him out or if I kick him out an he's not going away?

That's your reason right there. Social services think he and your relationship I say a risk to your kids. Actually they should help you speak to him. But don't speak to him, just get him out, talk to women's aid and move on. You can do it.

Get legal advice about injunction but police will come.

Tell him you dont want to be with him anymore and if he refuses to leave go into another room and call the police, they will escort him out of the house and make sure they get his key off him. Talk to your family for support.

You don't need a reason to get rid of him. Just not wanting to be in a relationship with him is enough. Refuse to engage in a discussion about this: you want him out of your house, and that's all there is to it.

If he refuses to go, call the police. Social Services are already aware of him, so taking this step can work in your favour.

Do you have friends who could be there. I kind of understand your family’s point of view, I felt that way about my sister but I still helped her.

As suggested get some legal advice re blocking him.

I agree, call the police, and tell them that social services are aware, and that they want him gone and so do you, but he won't leave.

not wanting him anymore IS a reason.

You’re not my sister are you?!?

Call the police and social services. They’re the only ones who can help and they will be happy you’re finally seeing the light.

My sister is in the same situation and it’s hard to watch and believe her when she says “this time I mean it”

isn't there a service that could be right near me for when I kick him out or if I kick him out an he's not going away?

Yes. The police and social services.

How would I go about that?

If it's your house, just change the locks when he's out - you don't need to speak to him

Just ring 101 and explain that you will be asking him to leave bit are worried that he will refuse. Have it o file and they'll one out if you call. He's banking on you not calling the police - so call them. Think of your children - SS will be happy that he's out especially if they've already voiced concerns about him & the relationship. It's much easier for an outsider to see what's happening . Best advice I was given was to work with them.

Contact Social Services and say you've thought about their concerns and they're right, but you're not sure how best to go about it because he's already refusing to go/could they help.

They'll probably love every moment of it. not because they're malicious, but because you're doing what is best for you/kids.

Christ OP, you sound exhausted and worn down my lovely, please take the advise the Posters on here have given, free yourself.