If you think there's someone else....

[beenwhereyouare]

I wish someone had told me this.

If there ever comes a time when someone else catches your attention, captures the heart that I’ve been trying to take care of for so long, please do not choose me. If the time ever comes when you think that I am not enough and you want more, please do not choose me.

Do not choose me just because you know you are safe with me. Yes, there is no doubt that I will never hurt you, but what about me?
Who will save me if I catch you staring into thin air, wishing it is her you are with? Who will save me if I catch you texting her while I’m sitting right beside you? Who will save me if you call her name instead of mine? Who will save me if you love her more than you love me?
Do not choose me just because we’ve been together for God knows how long. If we are together and after all that time you are still not sure I am the one, then please do not try and make me the one.

Do not choose me just because you feel guilty. You should, so please just leave. Do not choose me because you know I deserve more. Let me have the chance to meet someone who will never have to choose.

Do not feel guilty if I loved you more than you deserve, it’s my choice. So, please, just go, pack your bags, and close the door. I don’t want to be with someone who’s never sure if I’m the one he wants to be with.

Do not choose me just because you’re afraid that it might not work out. Or, that I might find someone better than you. Or, that she might never love you the way I do.

Do not choose me, choose her.

Because if you really loved me, I would not be one of the choices. Not A, not B, not C. I will be the final answer.

But if that’s not the case, I will not fight against it. I’d gladly give you up.

Do not choose me, not because it’s easy for me to no longer love you. Do not choose me, not because I don’t have enough confidence.

Do not choose me, not because I can’t fight for you. I don’t want to fight against someone else for you, someone who, in the end, you will somehow choose.

Do not choose me just because I chose you. If you really love me, it will always be me. Just me. No other reason, no other explanation.
So, please, if there is someone who will come between us, do not bother to think.

Just choose her.

thoughtcatalog.com/krizzia-paolyn/2017/09/if-you-ever-have-to-choose-between-me-and-someone-else-please-do-not-pick-me/
Thought Catalog

Wow, so so true, every word x

Don't hang around waiting to be 'chosen'. Be pro-active and leave him if you know he is cheating.

Poignant.

I truly believe a vast number of men aren't satisfied with 1 woman. They want 2. But it's not what they signed up for, they also can't admit it and be open about it because then they'd not have the safety net - so the lying and sneaking around begins.

Lying to take away their wife's choice as to whether to stay or go.

If human beings were akin to swans this wouldn't be an issue. But humans aren't swans even though morally supposed to be. Or should be. Whatever. So on & on the cheating carousel goes.

Including men who don't end up with the one they love, just the woman that's there at the time.

I'm not justifying or condoning any of this, and it's not a 'all men are bad' thing. It's just thoughts that came to mind on reading this

'Dont choose me' is the right way in terms of what you didn't sign up for and a man is trying to bring to your relationship as an add-on

I saw this on Instagram last night and posted this for everyone who thinks there's even a chance their partner is thinking about someone else. I see so many people hoping their SO will come back, change their mind, etc. Taking the SO back, sometimes multiple times. Excusing their unconscionable behavior. And hurting from the betrayal, disillusionment, and the devastating blow to their lives. Asking "why?" or " what did I do? " and blaming themselves instead of the asshole that promised to love, honor, and cherish.

I wish I could get this message across to everyone - whether it's just a kiss, a crush, inappropriate behavior, an EA, or a physical affair - it IS a big deal, no one's THAT drunk, it ALWAYS means something, and it's a clear indicator of the asshole's feelings.

I know we don't want to believe that, and most of us won't listen, but it's a sad day when you realize 40 years down the road that you've never been confident of his/her feelings towards you. That you've always carried some doubt and fear, and that you can never have complete trust.
It's a sad thing to face the truth; you've tried to ignore, overlook, or explain away your partner's actions, and all along you were right, at least to some extent, about what was going on. And it's sad to realize that you've never been loved with all your partner's heart, there was always someone else to catch their attention, and the only person they put first was themselves.
I wish all of us knew that it wasn't our fault. That no matter what, we didn't deserve it. That EVERYONE deserves to be loved like THAT; loved with all of our partner 's heart.

I would never tell anyone to leave. We may end up staying for a lot of reasons, but it should never be in the hopes of rebuilding a relationship, or with the idea that if we try to be better, different, etc. then our partners will love us.
If we stay, we need to do it with our eyes wide open and the knowledge that our situation is unlikely to change for the better, and that it's not our fault!
Love yourself. 💙

Link to the original article:
Catalog

One more time:
thoughtcatalog.com/krizzia-paolyn/2017/09/if-you-ever-have-to-choose-between-me-and-someone-else-please-do-not-pick-me/

Sad, but true. I left before he had a choice to make. I won’t be a ‘safe’ or ‘backup’ choice or a second best. I am worth more than that, even if that’s being on my own.

Don't hang around waiting to be 'chosen'. Be pro-active and leave him if you know he is cheating.

Amen.