How can I cope with this lack of sex?

[Sharkirasharkira]

I know this probably seems like a trivial issue to some but I'm really struggling with the lack of sex and intimacy with dp.

I am a very naturally sexual and tactile person and have a high sex drive. Dp is naturally a bit introverted and has an average sex drive but just lower than mine. All fine, I don't mind having less frequent sex and touching/cuddling than I would prefer because I know that not everyone is as *ahem motivated as me!

But. Dp is on AD's at the moment and has virtually no sex drive at all. Coupled with ED which makes it awkward when we do try it. I know this is down to the pills he takes, he is otherwise healthy, young, not overweight, doesn't drink or smoke etc etc but that doesn't help when I'm lying awake at night feeling unwanted and frustrated

My main priority is, of course, for him to be well. I know he needs the AD's and wouldn't ask him to stop just because of me. He has said he would ask the GP the next time he sees them but I'm worried.

How long have you been together? Have you noticed he's depressed? When did it become noticeable? Who suggested it was depression? Who diagnosed it? Did it coincide with any stressful life event or changes? Or even feeling bored? Can your DP point to a particular aspect of life or an event which triggered this?

I ask because, counseling is often far more effective and life changing and it's not so that every person prescribed ADs wouldn't cope without them. Depression is also a subjective thing, one person's boredom and lack of motivation for a few weeks is another's signal to themselves that perhaps they should seek a diagnosis of clinical depression. Drugs only treat clinical depression, they won't treat lack of funds, holidays, long working hours, lack of daylight, poor diet, poor social life, debt........

My mother had depression, several people I've known have it. I'm not completely lacking empathy, but there is an epidemic now if prescribing rates are anything to go by. The rate of depression is rising with each generation. I'm fairly certain I would find it difficult to maintain a relationship without any intimacy or sex, and I'd be very keen for my partner to work at getting better, and for me that would include an honest and thorough look at life, relationships, and work and seeking therapy and using self help.

Because unless there is some sort evolutionary drive towards clinical depression being normal and prevalent within humans ie not pathological, why are so many people prescribed ADs? Might it be because A) we live in a society of individual free will and no collective responsibility. B) no collective interests and a backlash against individual responsibility. C) a clash between science and culture ie psychology and psychiatry, mind and matter. D) a consumerist society in which we are always left wanting more, E) a culture saturated in porn and dwindling desire for human intimacy......I could go on. I won't.

Unless he really is clinically depressed and needs medication don't feel bad for wanting to put your relationship first.

I've been single almost 9 years, haven't had sex in 8.

You get used to being without.