Hi I wanted everyone’s advice on something.
We all know how hard it is trying to date whilst being a single mum. I’ve been on a few dates where I just felt no chemistry. Finally went on a date with someone I had met online. We had talked on/ off and finally exchanged numbers and talked on WhatsApp. He was flirty but not consistent.. is not always responding straight away or a day or so. Finally we talked some more and he wanted to meet up. We agreed that Saturday and it came to Thursday and I asked if we were still meeting up, no response until Saturday where he messaged ignoring my previous message. I said if he didn’t want to meet up he could just say. He then asked to call me, we talked for 20 minutes and then he was more flirty saying he liked my voice and we messaged lots and the next day spoke for almost two hours. We flirted over text and he said he wanted to meet. We both messaged and he would say morning gorgeous and good night etc. He then said I gave him butterflies which is strange as we hadn’t even met etc. We met on the Tuesday and the chemistry was crazy. He said he liked me and he was cute and joked about and said nice things but not ott. I asked his usual type and he said brunette (I’m blonde) but said that’s obviously never worked out before. We kissed and he said he didn’t want to talk to anyone else now and I was going nowhere and hasn’t felt that way in a while etc. He said he couldn’t wait to meet again so we agreed that Thursday.
He carried on messaging and being flirty. On wed I asked about the cinema the next day and he joked ‘of we could skip the cinema’ and I said it would be nice to go and he said ok. Then Thursday he messaged like normal in the morning. At lunch I got a long message saying he was tired and an hour later cancelling (but not saying another date to change too).
I said I got the impression he’d cancel and he said not to ‘say it like that’ I said I wasn’t being mean and just knew he would. He then rang me that evening and messaged me throughout the night. Then gradually his messages were more spaced out so I asked him after a week of anything was wrong as things seemed to change as he’s not so chatty, he said nothings changed and still likes me. But still wasn’t asking to see me?
I had tried to make plans but he was busy.
He then said I could leave it with him if I wanted and he’s just rubbish at responding like before we met. I said if he wanted to meet again I’d like that but up to him. He didn’t message back but the next day agreed to meet that Saturday, anyways.. long story shirt he cancelled as he was poorly! Stopped with the flirting. Cut down any attempts at flirting etc. Then after the Saturday cancellation I messaged him the following Tuesday and said I obviously get he doesn’t want to meet again but would be nice to stay friends. He said ‘being friends would be njce’. I’ve sent the one or two friendly text with a one word reply until last message was unanswered. (I only text twice over space of two weeks since we said we would be friends),
Thing is.. why did he say all that stuff when we met? I felt the chemistry and the way he looked at me and felt like we had a good connection and we could talk on the phone etc and he never seemed like he was Percy in texts (as in after one thing?) I had tried to get out of him why he changed his behaviour but would never say? We live an hour apart so maybe it’s too much effort? Maybe he has 5 women on the go? It’s just annoying as I feel I have no answers and I really liked him and feel it’s hard finding that connection with someone. He got defensive and said he wasn’t a player when I had only asked if there was anything going on (as in his life, just to see if his mind was preoccupied).
Any ideas of what I might have said or done or why he pulled back so quickly after it felt so intense and exciting?