Break up - do I stay in the house or leave?

[Stacey761]

Hey,

I know this subject has cropped up many times and there are worse problems in the world but I'm writing this as a cry for help.
I was with bf for 5 years and we lived together for 3 (rented house but moved into it together)
The relationship had ups and downs but recently it was okay. Content shall we say.

I had some issues at work last week, causing me to be stressed. The bf had his friends over so I gave him some time with them and spent it just doing stuff to keep away despite feeling quite run down. Anyway, Sunday night, he was in the shower. And I had this urge to look at his phone. This is not something i have done before. So I checked it, knowing I was about to find something (because my gut told me to check)
Sure enough, images and videos - nude ones of one of his colleagues.
I confronted him as soon as he got out the shower and he denied it instantly and told me to prove it. So I got the pictures up and then he admitted it. They had been doing a few things at work in the toilet but it only started last week
(The week she started working there).

Now literally, it was only two weeks ago he was saying how happy he was with us etc. And of course, the excuse for the cheating was he has been very unhappy bla bla. The usual blame me thing.
He called his mum at midnight to pick him up so hes moved back into there.

Problem is, I feel absolutely awful. I've been through break ups before but none that have had me this low. I'm so confused and it hurts more than I have ever experienced. But it gets worse when I'm at home. His stuff is still here and as we turned the house into a home together, all the memories are there.

I don't know what I should do. Stay in the house or end the tenancy agreement. (Its rolling so can be done)
I can pack his stuff up and get it out but how will I feel after? Will I be able to adapt to the house without him? Am I better moving into a new house? I have no clue what is best so your advice would be greatly appreciated as I'm sure theres plenty who have been in this situation before.
At the moment, I feel as though I cant cope. I cant sleep or eat. I am still going to work but I'm just a zombie. I'm 30 by the way with no kids. So I'm also fearful for my future.

Thank you so much for reading x

Sorry you're going through this.

Do you like where you live? You have a couple of options:

1. Hand in your notice and make a fresh start somewhere else.

1. Stay where you are but redecorate completely.

Personally, I'd go for 1. But whatever you choose, get all of his stuff packed up and out. Bin lines; dump it outside and tell him to collect.

You deserve so much better. 30 is still young. You've got plenty of time.

I love where I live. But I loved our life in it as well.
I'm unsure what to do but I cant even cope with these emotions right now. Everything has happened at once. Shit at work, car is off the road, now this. I just cant even think :/

Well, they say bad things happen in 3 so at least that's your lot done.

Seriously though, just take one thing at a time. Or it all rolls into a massive snowball and feels insurmountable.

You can do this. What's the smallest easiest thing to sort out? Do that first.

(Or make a cuppa, and retreat under the duvet with a plate of biscuits.) Be kind to yourself.