Some advice please

[PenguinsAreCute]

I've been with my DP for 8 years, I love him but lately I have been really unhappy. We haven't had sex for 3 years (I'm 35). I would like to have children but that's not going to happen if we don't have sex, it's really getting me down.

I used to try it on with him but each time he would reject me and say he was tired or wasn't in the mood or some other excuse. I have tried to talk to him about it but he just gets angry and shouts at me. I've also told him I would like to get married and have kids and he just says we will get round to it, but I'm getting older and don't want to be stuck in a relationship with no intimacy and broken promises, although I do love him and if I leave him I am scared I will regret it.

What if I do leave him and then don't meet anyone else and then still don't have kids anyway it's quite a gamble! Has anyone got any advice please?

Handhold from me. I don't have any advice, except try to deal with now not when you are 39 and it's too late.

Well if you're not happy anyway, there's not much point staying with him, is there? Obviously he's not happy either. If you're 35 the biological clock is ticking and fertility starts to decrease from now onwards.

There's something wrong. Either dp is gay, or he's got some physical problem with sex, or he's depressed, or he doesn't want kids anyway. It's not really fair of him if he's refusing to talk about it though. I think it's crunch time - be brave and face up to it.

You need to get out of this relationship. Anyone who shouts at you when you want to be intimate isn't the man for you. Anyone who puts you off again and again regarding marriage just doesn't have the same goals as you.

Set yourself free. Don't wait until it really is too late.

I know I do need to end it, I just feel really rubbish about it all like I've wasted 8 years and I also feel guilty for ending it with him as I don't want to upset him! I guess I just need to be brave and bite the bullet and be a bit selfish for once!

Thanks

Wanting to be happy and have kids doesn't make you selfish.

But yes, you need to end it now; don't waste any more time with him.

You can finish with him and be kind about it. Just tell him that the relationship isn't making you happy any more; you want different things and it's best to part now so you have time to find other people to be with.

He doesn't seem to feel too bad about taking your child-bearing years though, does he? So balls to upsetting him. Get out, with all possible speed, and then you can either find someone who will cherish you to have kids with, or go it alone.

Don't waste time feeling bad about throwing away 8 years on this man, but don't keep making the same mistake. Get out now. As soon as humanly possible. If you want children, you literally don't have a single day to waste.