Mom has alcohol issues, anyone help?

[tonyroy]

Background: We have 8 month old daughter, lived together for 20 months.
We get on fine most of the time. She’s a great mom.

Problem: has an unhealthy relationship with booze, can’t stop drinking until she’s sick or gets into an incident like the weekend.
She starts chatting to another guy then gets over friendly, leaning in towards him touching his arm etc until his wife comes to separate them. Also violent at times.
Any advice greatly received.

Why did you call her a great mom, she is not great at all. People in poor relationships write that as well when they can think of nothing positive to write about their partner. She is a drunkard who also has a propensity to violence. Her primary relationship is with drink, its certainly not with you or her child for that matter. Her thoughts centre around where the next drink is going to come from.

Do you think it is wise for your daughter to be raised with such a person who can become violent at times along with pawing at other men too?. You probably only get on fine most of the time only when you are quiet and acquiescent around her.

What is your part here in this overall dysfunctional relationship?.
What about you in all this, do you not matter either?. You think this woman can change or something; I tell you now that such disordered of thinking people do not change. You can only help yourself and your daughter ultimately by leaving her mother. You cannot rescue or save her, she can only do that.

This is not good.
It's ultimatum time.
She either gets help or you go to social services.
She can go to AA.
You may also fine Al-Anon a great help. They support loved ones of alcoholics.
But your DD should not be raised in this environment.
Does she have family nearby who you can talk to?
Could they intervene?
Is she violent to you?
If so then please get yourself and your DD away as fast as possible.
It's considered abuse to keep a child in an abusive household. Which is what this is!
Please contact Menkind HERE

Thanks for the in depth replies.
Sorry I didn’t make something clear, she doesn’t drink all the time, once or twice a night and gets wildly drunk maybe once every two weeks. I know that’s still not great. I’m trying to make her go to AA or try to monitor herself. Yes she is violent towards me but since I told her I wouldn’t put up with it she’s stopped.

Sorry once or twice a week, not a night.

Sorry no advice but maybe a post in the alcohol support page (it's in the health section) as people who understand may be able to give practical advice?

Hope things improve x