SO angry at his ex

[CTIABFMC]

I’ve NCd because this has a lot of potentially identifying details that I don’t want linked to other threads.

My boyfriend of a year has remained friendly with his ex. They were friends for 10 years before getting together but he realised after six months that she wasn’t the one. She was upset because she still had feelings for him but accepted his decision and wanted to remain friends.

We met about 3 months after they split and I knew they were still friends but it didn’t worry me because I’m still friends with some of my exes so understand how it can work.

About a month ago, his ex called him in a panic because she claimed that the father of her kids had stopped paying maintenance and she couldn’t cover the rent. She’s got 2 kids (none of them with my boyfriend) and is entirely dependent on benefits and CM. She begged him to lend her some money because she was about to be kicked out of her home because she had gone into arrears and the dad had gone AWOL. So my boyfriend being the kind person that he is gave her £500 to cover her for the month and she was really grateful abd promised to pay him back as soon as she could.

This was a month ago. Tonight, a mutual acquaintance just “liked” a photo of her on fb showing off her new lips with the caption “Botox next”.

I am fucking livid. If she could spend money on new lips and Botox, why the fuck couldn’t she pay her rent?

Boyfriend is perplexed but thinks there must be a reasonable explanation like maybe it was a present from someone. But FFS, how likely is that really? Or am I just being jealous?

Are you the poster whose boyfriend is close to the exs son?

Honestly, it's for him to sort out. Maybe the ex had back paid all maintenance or this was something she had already paid for.

No point you being livid. If she has taken the piss it's for him to sort out and reevaluate the friendship.

Be honest. Would you be so livid, if it was a Male friend who borrowed the money?

It's his money, if he wants to waste it on his ex, that's his problem. I don't think it's what she spent it on that bothers you as much as he gave it in the first place.

I’d be cross too OP! That sounds very deceitful of her. But it’s for your boyfriend to sort out really.

Unless you have shared finances, it's really not your business. If she's scamming him, that's his problem to figure out.

Although that said, I'd be very wary of joining finances or getting more deeply involved with him, rather than pressing on regardless. You shouldn't be focusing on her as the issue, but on whether you're making good decisions for yourself. See him as he is, (not how he could be if she was gone or whatever your magic formula for making it work is). If he's unhealthily entwined with his ex, what does it say about you and your choices if you don't heed that?