Mum's financially trapped and probably about to go bankrupt

[countrywalks1]

DM and DF have been geographically separated for years, althougha re still married. Long story short, they always had a strained relationship, and DF cheated about 11 years ago. This along with private school financial stress, led DM to insist DF go work in the UAE (he's an aircraft engineer). So he's been out the country for probably about 10 years now.

Problem is, their relationship has never healed, and coupled with decreasing contact time between us (me, DM, DB) and him, as well as DF being the breadwinner (DM has few qualification, is a swimming pool teacher so

If there is equity in the house I wouldn't go bankrupt. It will get eaten up in the trustees fees and lawyers fees.

Sorry posted too soon. If she cannot afford the house can she sell it? She would need your father's agreement if they jointly own the property. Not sure what would happen if he didn't agree - perhaps she could seek advice re applying to the court for an order lowing her to sell the property - don't know whether that would work. Regardless, if she defaults then the mortgage company will take the property into possession (would require court proceedings). Again, if there is equity she will get stung on costs.

*allowing not lowing

So she booted him out ten years ago but expected him to keep paying the mortgage? He’s a mug to have been sending money as long as he has!

He must have been paying a lot more to be able to pay for your private school etc. Why can't they sell the house if she can't afford the mortgage? Why send him to uae and miss out in his children? The decisions don't make much sense to me unless you don't know the real ins and outs of it. Anyway, it's up to your parents to sort their mess out and should keep the children out of it.

Poor you. I think your in a difficult situation because you want to help but aren’t the one who can actually make the decisions. Better to sell the house though and for her to move to Italy if she has a house there.

Thanks for the replies everyone! I actually feel embarrassed having posted something this personal, but realise I just needed to vent, and just knew non of my friends would really understand.

losingfaith - thanks! I suspected she'd end up getting a bit shafted.

@everyone else - I realise this does seem like a 1st world problem, and not really mine. I've basically attempted to speak to them both and told them to sort it out asap because I've had enough of both of them seemingly being miserable. Let's see if that works!

Sell the house and then go to Italy seems the more sensible approach?