Is my GF being immature?

[Gudzippo]

My GF has questioned me tonight on why I follow a girl on Instagram from her home
town who is a friend of a friend of hers.... I searched the name and literally got no idea who the hell it is or why I follow them! Must of been a random follow from years ago when I was single!

she’s making out it’s not a problem but I can sense it’s bothered her and since she’s been very blunt and short with me? I know she will “punish” me by being short and blunt with texts tomorrow.. she already cut me short on txt tonight saying she was off to bed. this is clearly an insecurity for her but surely unfair to treat me like this when I’ve done nothing wrong!!

She knows you follow her so you've either liked something of hers and she's noticed or she's gone through your list of follows on IG.

She'll be off with you until you have a row and make up or until you make it up to her. Until the next time. And the next time...

I think you bin her, she's making you feel anxious, who wants that?

She sounds like a nightmare, she probably creeps through all your followers and likes etc to see what you do. I couldn’t cope with someone like that. Tbh as you’re both young, I’d have a think about whether you want to continue. I’ve found that paranoia and lack of trust etc only get worse.

Are you the same young man who posts about your crappy relationship over and over on here and gets told every time to move on every time?

If so, stop asking. You aren't getting anything from Mumsnet.

Thank you again for replies, really means a lot. She said she was on this girls page when she realized I was following her... not sure I believe that but hey. I've never once gone behind her back or ever cheated... I really adore her but she drives me up the wall with this type of thing.

I have been texting as normal, i've not risen to it as suggested by you guys. she's texting similar but I can just tell shes being weird with me still... theres been no emotion as there usually is with texting and bringing that guy into the mix who is at work with her whom apparently "is really nice" just makes me feel rubbish... we've been together 8 months. I haven't been able to concentrate on work all day because of it... now im the one feeling paranoid!! :(

She has trust issues which we've spoken about before.. shes already told me she doesn't trust me so... Ive got no chance with things like this really. Do I just try forget this completely and continue day as normal?

She’s said outright she doesn’t trust you????

It’s entirely up to you to decide how you are prepared to live your life but if you’re still in honeymoon stage and she’s distrusting etc then it’s only going to get worse. It’s your choice but I’d be out of there already personally

No, don't forget about it! End it!!

She's said she doesn't trust you, she's punishing you for following a girl on social media, she's trying to make you jealous by mentioning a boy! She's being blunt and cold towards you! Imagine if you did that to her.....

You've only been together 8 months! It's only going to get worse!

This sounds overwhelming for an 8-month relationship. Do you seriously text each other all day? How do you get any work done?

She sounds very jealous and insecure and you sound very unhappy.

Just ditch her and move on. Life is too short.

If she doesn't trust you after 8 months do you think she ever will? When there's a mortgage and two kids in the mix and you look at one of her friends "wrong" even though you didn't, and she's silent and snipey all weekend but you can't leave because you'll only get weekends with the kids...
Is she worth it?

You sound like a nice guy, she sounds controlling and horrible. Please move on, there are lovely women out there who won’t make you feel like this.

Jesus Christ that sounds like an absolute drain.

End it already.

If I was doing what your gf was I would expect you to stand up to her. Express your annoyance and that you will not tolerate such behaviour. If she really loves you the prospect of losing you will soon Buck her ideas up. Seriously though you can't have that kind of behaviour in your life !

Thanks for the support and comments guys.

I confronted her about it on the phone and asked if she was annoyed with me... She said she wasn't annoyed or angry but was bothered by it and said how weird it was. She told me when she looked at this girls page recently I wasn't following her but now I am... I really don't remember or even believe this to be true! Like I say, no idea who the hell it is.

She told me why can't she tell me how she feels without me getting anxious... not sure if thats a true point or in this case just her being insecure and pushing it out onto me... I told her I felt like I done nothing wrong and she was being off with me which is why I felt down... she kind of just bypassed this and that was that..

It all feels very odd, she seems far more distant and cold with me, we're still texting but it just feels off? Hasn't called me pet names or anything as sometimes usually would ... not sure to bring this up or not or just give her as good as she gives?

just text her
"sorry, this isn't working for me. i'm looking for a proper relationship with a grown adult who's capable of proper conversations about things that bother them. call me if you decide you can be that person."

Thanks discontinuedmodelhusband but it's not as easy as that for me as I of course love this woman... Admittedly i'm more sad than happy most of the time mainly due to her lack of affection and the anxiety she gives me... I struggle to weigh up whether its my own issue and not hers.

If a relationship is making you sad more times than not then in the kindest way, what are you getting from this?

You don't have to settle for this.

I'd end the relationship and find someone when you're ready, who makes you happy the majority of the time.

I'd just like to add that it sounds as if this relationship is feeding your anxieties rather than helping to release you from them.

Trust me, I've been there!

Okay , instagram is used frequently to meet new people . An old ex of mine would follow many girls and it did find it a bit strange as it can send the message that you’re still “looking” if that makes sense , escpecially if it’s just normal girls and not famous people . I raised this with him and he totally understood how it would be perceived . We had an adult discussion about it , we broke up eventually (nothing to do with social media ) so I guess I don’t think you’re girlfriend isnt immature to be upset by it but she’s being immature by still being off about it and sounds a bit like stonewalling , which i’d be wary of. Does she display any other controlling traits ?

*should say I don’t think she is being immature to be upset by it but the offishness after and generally approached the whole issue shows she’s childish.

Ok, so she admits she does not trust you, shows lack of affection and causes you anxiety and is constantly off with you.

Why exactly are you with her? Relationships are built on trust, you don’t have a relationship.

Pick up your self esteem, deep breath and end this farce. Honestly, we’re on this planet only once, don’t settle for this awful treatment. End it now and move on.

And stop texting/ replying to her. It just enforces to her that it’s ok to treat you like shite as you’ll be her toy to play with as she likes and keep on treating you like she is

It boils down to trust doesn't it ? If she doesn't trust you you have some serious thinking to do don't you ?