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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Struggling to know why he would be interested

6 replies

MilkCoke · 11/03/2019 15:41

Can I just start by saying this is not a self-pitying post.

On paper I think I'm exactly what someone wouldn't want in a relationship. I have a long-term chronic condition which means I can't work at the moment. Because of this condition I can't go out a do 'fun' things a lot of the time. I live back at home with parents because of needing help. I don't have friends, they all disappeared since I became ill.

So in light of all that I'm struggling to see why someone would be interested in me? First date set for a couple of weeks time. Met him through a group I go to so he knows me 'in person' so to speak. Have known him about a year. He knows everything I've written above.

I keep thinking of pulling out of the date. I feel like I'm being selfish expecting him to put up with all of that (and yes I know it's only a first date and it might go no further than that, but what if it did?). I keep thinking he should be with someone who can give him a lot more than I can and who can be everything someone would want in a partner. I've stayed single for years because of all the worries about this and now I've inadvertently met someone I keep second guessing myself.

OP posts:
LifeIsToughMate · 11/03/2019 15:44

We can’t know OP, but regardless, I’m sure there are special and unique things about you that u haven’t listed

Stickladylove88 · 11/03/2019 15:47

It's safer to hide yourself away and not risk rejection, I understand that but this man knows your situation and sees beyond it to the person inside and he likes you!!! People aren't necessarily looking for something storybook perfect, they usually just want a companion who understands them, makes them laugh and is there for them. You get one life op, life has given you a chance of a nice evening at the very least, be bold and go for it!

Order654 · 11/03/2019 16:07

If you have already met him through a group I wouldn’t worry about it. He already knows everything you have already said and is still perfectly happy to go on a date with you.

I bet his life is not picture perfect too. No ones is.

MilkCoke · 11/03/2019 16:23

Thank you all. I know he obviously likes me on some level, and he said pretty much exactly what sticklady said about what he wants from a relationship. I just really struggle to reconcile what most people would want from a relationship with what I have (or don't have) to offer.

OP posts:
Orange6904 · 11/03/2019 20:59

Just treat it like a normal date/start of relationship and don't worry. As long as you're honest about what's worrying you. Don't worry so much, none of us are without things we worry will put people off even if it may seem like it from the outside.

Have a great time Flowers

Orange6904 · 11/03/2019 21:00

even if it may not* seem like it I meant

Ugh time for bed lol.

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