I've been with my partner for 7 years (I moved 250 miles away from home to be with him) and we have an 18 month old. It's been a tough journey to get here; 2 ectopic pregnancies, 2 rounds of IVF (1 of which was a m/c, one of which worked). We should be so happy right now, our son is perfect, but since he was born, it's like he has a split personality. If I say something he doesn't like/agree with, he'll either blank me (sometimes for days) or speak to me in the most disrespectful/hurtful/nasty manner (with much swearing, in front of our son). "FO and find somewhere else to live" is the main one that sticks in my head, but there are so many insults he's made.
I've tried to talk to him explaining how hurtful this is and how it's really hard for me to get over the things he's said time and time again, and that I've not actually done anything wrong. He said it's all down to me as I am "moody and bad tempered all the time, since LO was born". I'm honestly not, that's just not me. Most people I know comment on what a generally happy person I am. I am just tired. 15 months of night feeds every 1-2 hours, and the last 3 months I've had several wake ups each night due to a very bad stubborn cough that LO has since he started nursery. I think it's completely understandable to be tired after this but he doesn't.
He works very, very hard (over 70 hours a week) so we don't have much time, but he's refusing to even take off 3 days at Easter (when me and LO are off as nursery is closed) saying we can't afford it (we can). He didn't take a single day off when LO was born, and I had a C-section so it was hard. He does absolutely nothing in the house to help which was fine before, but it such a mess now as I cannot do everything, as I've gone back to work f/time and LO is quite demanding with my attention (which I don't mind!).
Writing this makes me realise how awful our situation is and I know deep down I shouldn't be putting up with this for a second longer but I don't want to make any rash decisions post baby. He's brilliant with our son when he's here but that's not very often.
I feel like I've just described him as a vile person but he's not like that all the time. I'm 43 and I've known him since I was 19. He is (was?) the love of my life, and the father of my child. if there's any chance we can get over this I don't want to throw it away but I cannot carry on like this constantly walking on eggshells in case I do or say the wrong thing to set him off, but we don't have a partnership, what he says goes, and it's seems like he's lost all respect for me, and doesn't actually like me a lot of the time. Leaving would be huge as I would need to go back to my family and friends (250 miles away) as I would need their support to get through this, but I know this would break his heart. I've tried to tell him if this continues I will have to leave as he's leaving me no option and he said "if you threaten me with that, I'll just let you go".
I'm so unhappy but I just want to get back to where we were before and I have no idea what to do, it's completely breaking me.