Hi, just wanted some opinions on this. Not sure if I'm overthinking (I have a tendency to do that)
I've been with my bf around 7 months now but only really serious (as in said 'I love you' etc) for the last 3 or so. He's kind, caring, thoughtful, funny etc and we have great chemistry
I recently found out however that he lied to me a few months ago. In his defence we weren't official 'boyfriend and girlfriend' but we had been exclusive for a while and were acting that way. Basically he went out with a couple of mates (true) - just for food and cinema but failed to mention that his ex was going. I'd specifically asked him at the time who was going but while he mentioned the male friends, he missed out the part about her going.
Anyway I found out by accident from his friend and was really shocked that he'd lied by omission if nothing else. I don't believe anything happened between them, he says he didn't want to tell me at the time as he didn't want to ruin how things were progressing between us but he and his ex did part on good terms and had agreed to be friends still. I knew this and if he'd been straight with me, I'd have possibly been ok with it but it's the fact he didn't let me have the chance to be ok or not ok with it, he just did it without regarding my feelings. Since then he hasn't really had any contact with her as things have naturally progressed between us and so he's openly said he feels like he doesn't want her in his life anymore. The only contact they've had was just before Xmas when she messaged him about a letter that had arrived
While we were exclusive at the time we hadn't talked about any future together as such, were only dating once or twice a week and since the time of this happening things have progressed a lot (we've now met each other's family's/ friends etc and are an official couple)
Anyway, we've talked it through he's apologised endlessly and he absolutely hasn't given me any other reason to doubt him. Before I knew about this, he'd already given me the passcode to his phone (I didn't ask, we went on a night out and I completely forgot to take mine so he said something along the lines of 'oh you should really know my passcode in case there's an emergency')
He rarely goes out drinking or anything like that, but he has a brother who he doesn't see very often who's a bit of a lad, lives abroad and comes to visit a couple of times a year. He's due over soon and when we discussed everything and I said it was going to take a while for me to rebuild trust in him, I said I'd struggle when his brother visits as they do usually end up going out. His words to me were, 'don't worry, I won't be going out. I'll square it with X and we'll do something else'
Since then things have been really good and I feel like we're back on track. Talking with him this weekend and he mentioned potentially going out when his brother visits this weekend, I didn't say anything as I'm not sure how I feel about it. Part of me feels like I really do believe his story about his ex, the fact he lied hurt, but I think he has learnt his lesson and I feel like things have been open and honest and great since we talked about it all. On the other hand though, I feel like his actions should live up to his words. He did say he wouldn't be going out but I think because everything's been so good since then he's either completely forgotten he said it, or he's just assumed that everything is ok again now.
I know this is a long and rambly post but I just wanted to get it off my chest and know what others think.