If this happened to you...

[flowersonthemoon]

Went on a few dates with a man...

Had dinner and drinks and went back to mine... had sex with him for the first time and ten minutes later he tells me he's not spending the night.

I mean we literally both have been to the loo etc and he reaches over for a hug and tells me this. Excuses about not having clothes etc.

Resulted in me asking him to leave now then. We've since concluded we won't be seeing each other again. I've never been in a situation where a man says he's leaving so suddenly after sex. I feel if he wasn't going to stay he didn't need to mention it immediately after he could of waited a bit. He feels it wouldn't of made a difference to my reaction.

I'm that bothered, but I'm wondering if other women would have felt the same.

*not that bothered

His timing was shit, and he should have made it clear before you went to bed IMO.

Happened to me a long time ago (before DP obviously) and I said the same as you did.

I can't imagine anyone being happy or comfortable about it.

I'd wonder if he was married and had to go home to his wife. I get the thing about having no clean clothes at yours etc but there would still be no need to rush off so soo .

Exactly what I thought Ella.

He actually called me today to apologise about 'how he made me feel' but is he 'obligated to spend the night if he has sex with a woman' 🙄

seeing as you went to bed (rather than humping in the living room) i think he was probably right in telling you when he did. He was letting you know that he wouldn't be staying so not to get back into bed and get all cosy and sleepy (which is what would have probably happened).

Timing wasn't perfect but if all in all he seemed like a good guy, i wouldn't hold it against him

He actually called me today to apologise about 'how he made me feel' but is he 'obligated to spend the night if he has sex with a woman' 🙄

Well he sounds like a fucking lunatic. Well rid!

Were you expecting him to stay? It doesn't sound like he was saying he was leaving there and then, just letting you know he wasn't staying over. Which in itself I'm not sure is such a big deal to be honest.

I wouldn't assume he was spending the night just because you had sex. I dtd with my now bf on 2nd date and was ready to see him out after but he asked if I'd mind if he stayed the night, otherwise I was ready to wave him off

I would assume he wasn’t staying myself so it wouldn’t be a big deal to me.

I wouldn't want him to stay so would be more than happy for him to go.

I suppose for me it was the timing... tmi but clean up and then mentioning leaving.

I actually don't believe he's single now based on him being so eager to leave and a few other things.

Lesson learnt don't assume a man will stay for round two 😂

At least he didn't get out of bed and told you he'd have to leave early so he could go to confession in the morning.

I suppose it would depend on where I though I was going with him / the relationship.

If I only ever thought he was going to be a fuck buddy or a ONS, then I'd probably have shagged him on the first date and I'd be thrilled that he didn't want to stay the night.

If I thought he was going to be something more significant and be a proper relationship, then I'd probably have got to know him a bit better and would have talked about having sex, staying over and set out some of my ground rules and boundaries.

Had you discussed anything about it flowersonthemoon or was it a very spontaneous thing?