So I am a 27 year old woman married to a 40 year old man. I have been with him for 8 years married 4 and we have two children together.
He has two other children and one who is 18 lives with us and has done for the 4 years.
So the situation is. I had a really tough up bringing and not sure if I am forcing this on my relationship now or the fact I am actually a horrible person or the relationship is not right and coming to end. I am just so upset about it all.
He works full time I work part time evening. We hardly see each other and have no help from family to help with childcare or babysitting. I love my kids they are my world and I would spend every minute with them but I think this stress is taking its toll.
We obviously have the stress of living and bills and being able to afford to live each month on peanuts.
He plays football every weekend and I do nothing and spend time with the kids. If I do go out it's of an evening and I end up getting absolutely battered because I don't go out and can't control my alcohol intake anymore ha. Very very rare I go out maybe once every 4/5 months. I end up a crying mess crying how unhappy I am. Am I unhappy or am I depressed or bored.
The last 2 years things have not been right. When we spend time together one ends up sleeping because we are so exhausted. We bicker about everything. I don't think he fancies me anymore. I'm not sure I even fancy him. I keep thinking are we together paying off these debts and bills to show a family environment. Would I be happier alone or with some one else. He's so grumpy and he does help around the house every so often. I just feel a little bit depressed and stressed I guess.
I feel like alls he cares about is his work and football. When he is home all his phone does is go off about work and his people phoning him asking him questions. He goes football on sundays ends up being a piss up or staying in the pub all day. I work some sundays so he could when I'm working very well go park or something with the kids but chooses to sit in the pub talking about the last 2 hours of his football game. I am just bored. Today he called me lazy because I didn't get in from work till 2.30am got up just before he left for football and started again at 1 so he had to be back. Because he called me at 12.30 are kids dressed I said not really in dress up stuff because didn't think you were doing much with them as I'm working and it might rain. Oh no got stressed shouting at me because I did F all all morning. I did the house work actually. And they were not dressed when he came to pick them up to drop me to work.
I think if we weren't together he would be a shit dad. He is only a good dad sometimes because I am on his case. I look at my babies and they don't deserve it. Do I just lump it: is this part of a relationship. I'm so down. I kissed another man in October and told him straight away. Since then we worked through it. It got better by Christmas and gone to crap again. It never really been the same since. If i was happy would I have done that. This is my first serious relationship. I've lost my sex drive. We don't kiss or cuddle. I really just don't know what to do about it anymore. 