Just told my husband it's over

[LeslieKnope2020]

I've been thinking about leaving my husband for about a year now after feeling like we've just grown apart - constantly arguing, being petty, barely speaking, hostile behaviour etc it's just been rather toxic. We got together when we were really young so I really beleive we just grew up into different people with different interests and opinions.

We've just spoke and cried about separating but agreed it would be for the best but I thought I would be happy when this moment came but I'm not. To be honest, I've been suffering with depression for around 18 months so I've been feeling rather flat and now I wonder whether it was just the depression coming between us. Could this be all my fault? I could literally write a list of 100 reasons why I don't want to be married to him anymore but I still don't feel happy or relieved that it's over. Could I have made a mistake or give this more time? I just feel sick and numb at the moment.

That's normal, in my experience. We finally split (definitely good, long story) but when it finally happened and I moved out, I cried for hours and hours. It's the end of a big chapter of your life, it's ok to be sad, it doesn't mean it's the wrong decision.

Just because you ended it doesnt mean you wouldnt be sad. You got married hoping it would be forever and your future will now be different and whilst that will be better for you ultimately, you are bound to have feelings of sadness.

You know you've made the right decision, but that doesn't mean you won't be sad. Stay strong and keep moving forward.

I left my husband - it was my move - and yet when I sat with all my belongings around me back at my parents, I cried for hours - not because I changed my mind, but simply the grief and relief all mingled together. Like emotional shock.