Sharing House with Ex (new lover entering house)

[CamberSam]

Wont post

Hi

I’m currently sharing a mortgage with my ex and neither of us are in a position to be able to move out whilst covering the cost of the mortgage. House is up for sale and fingers crossed it sells quick.

Not a great situaton to be in but I thought we were both doing okay with it until I met someone else. Long story short, the ex or one of her crazy friends ended up getting in touch with the girl I had met and told her I wasn’t single and was cheating. This girl now won’t speak to me (not surprisingly). I shrug it off but was obviously more weary of my situation.

After a few months and now more recently, the ex has met someone. I genuinely don’t mind but the she said he was coming round to the house for a bit. I said I’d rather he didn’t come into the house but she went and let him in anyway. After he had left I put my foot down and said he is not to enter the house whilst I’m around. I thought I was being fairly resonable in saying I don’t mind if I’m away but I have a feeling she will ignore this request and let him in again with me being in the house.

I need advice on what the rules are for this kind of thing. She has joked about what I am likely to do, to enforce him not coming in, saying it would end up in a fight.

Can I ask him to leave and if he refuses, does the law side with me?

Everyone I’ve asked seems to think she is crossing a massive line but can’t help and I can’t find any information about this situation. I know some people will advise for me to just leave the house, whatever the cost but it’s just not possible with my currently income.

Thanks,
Sam

I guess your just flatmates now really. It would probably be better if she went to his place and not many people would feel comfortable entering that situation.

Would she be okay with you bringing a woman over?

Is this an acrimonious split? No kids involved I take it.

Pretend you’re fine with it.

She’s being a total cow but legally there’s not much can be done as you’re essentially housemates.

I feel like she’ll stop if she doesn’t get a reaction.

Just a “hi mate, alright”

And go meet someone yourself if you want to, or spend time with friends

She said she would be okay if I was to bring someone in and even suggested I join her and her new man to watch TV, like we are just house mates. I guess it was the way she dealt with my new love interest that has caused me to feel this way about not wanting anyone else in the house but it’s still weird, even if that hadn’t happened.

It wasn’t a nasty split but it was me who ended it and theres no kids involved. Just the mortgage tying us together.

If you still know so much about each other's personal life, maybe you are still too much emotionally attached to be dating others.

How would your ex know who you were dating unless you told her?
Why would she insist on bringing a new guy over?

Sounds like you both were trying to wind each other up.

I imagine new dates would have places of their own so no real reason to bring them around.

I'd say neither one of you are ready to date since you're both feeling jealousy.

Neither party should be bringing new dates back.

No, new man does not get to come in. She’s being a bitch to you and you know it. Get the place sold ASAP.

Legally speaking, it’s a jointly owned property and therefore you’re both entitled to invite guests to it without the other’s permission.

That doesn’t mean it’s fair or right: just that you can’t stop her having him there.

Do you think your ex is doing this to get at you, or are you reasonably amicable and she’s just being thoughtless? If the latter then is there a mutual friend who you could have talk to her and try to get her to see that it’s both tasteless and insensitive?

Either of you is entitled to invite guests to visit the property, or even to move in. Not an ideal situation, obviously, but that's what the law says.