Can I ask those of you who found true love/happiness in your second marriages please...

[SharkBaitOoHaha]

I don't necessarily mean 'true love' as in fairy tale, Disney BS...

But I am curious to hear from those of you who have found your second (or subsequent!) marriages or relationships more successful/fulfilling/happier than your first, particularly after children.

Are you happier now? Do you think the person you are with now is better and more suited for you? Or do you always still hold a bit of something for the person you shared your firsts with?

Much, much happier in my second marriage. I wouldn't say that it's that we're better suited, but more that DH2 is better suited to being in a partnership and so am I too now that I'm more mature. I tried to learn from my mistakes and I consciously chose someone different from my usual 'type'. Also, I've really made an effort to recognise and avoid all the pitfalls I fell into the first time round. We're both older and have the experience of failed relationships behind us which helps too. I've never missed DH1 for a second.

Much happier. Agree a lot with what FIRSTGIRL said.
I'm older, more mature, more willing to work at things. More willing to put the effort in.
I'm more aware of the pitfalls for example won't work opposite shifts to dh2 so we spend more time together.
Do I miss dh1? no but I do look back fondly now on the time we had. We were young, lots of firsts, he's the father of 1 of my children and respect that he has always been a good dad to her. Would I have him back/ harbour feelings? Not for a second!

Are you happier now? Do you think the person you are with now is better and more suited for you? Or do you always still hold a bit of something for the person you shared your firsts with

Am I happier? Yes- and more importantly my children are/were so much happier with him in their lives than their dad.

Is he better? Yes he is a better person, nicer human and better man than my ex could ever be. My ex is a bit of a narcissist with sociopathic tendencies- he genuinely seems to have no remorse and is so manipulative. My husband is the kindest man you’d ever meet and is unselfish and generous and so caring.

Are we more suited? Yes. He brings out the best in me.

Do I hold anything for my ex? Other than resentment, which has lessened enormously over the years...I hold nothing for him. I can have some happy memories but even most of them were ruined by his moods or the tension I lived with daily when trying to placate him.

Thanks in need of some hope!

At first I was far too pissed off with my exh to miss him. But even now after several years, all I really miss is the life I thought I was going to have, in my nice house. There was a storm last night and I was thinking about the walnut tree. I miss the tree a hundred times more than I miss my exh.

I don't want to remarry, and right now I don't want to live with anyone. The kids are grown and I'm enjoying having my own snug little place to do my own thing. But I do have a bf - was actually planning just to have a few flings but this one has stuck a couple of years now. At first I thought we had very little in common, but I've come to realise that if anything, we have more in common than I did with my exh.

The good thing at my age is that there's no pressure whatsoever. We're both too old to want a family together, so we don't need to live together, don't need to plan our future together ... if it works, it works.

Just got an update from the exh on the walnut tree. A branch broke off :(

I'm wife no.2.
DH gets on well with his ex wife. If he holds a torch he has been smart enough not to tell me!
I think some people learn from the mistakes they made (I reckon DH better husband to me than 1st wife because of this) and some make the same mistakes all over again.
I suspect DH and his ex were fairly compatible but their relationship got damaged over the years by one thing and another. She has also remarried and seems happy so all worked out ok.

So much happier, no comparison. Something happened last night that really brought that home to me. We're planning some major life changes. We were sitting having a proper conversation about how to go about it, each person speaking, the other listening, and each of us taking on board what the other said, to come to joint decisions. It crossed my mind as we talked that this would never have happened in my first marriage, and made me feel very grateful.

I do think that having that comparison does make you more appreciative of little things you might otherwise not have noticed.

Much happier.
I have one child with my ex and I have an amicable relationship with him now but we only ever talk about ds and as ds is a teenager we rarely have to do that now.
Ex was charming to start off with but soon became quite controlling and was unfaithful to me. He destroyed my confidence and I found it very hard to trust anyone for a long time afterwards.
My now DH is a wonderful man. He is an incredible father and partner compared to ex. He has been a father figure to eldest ds and we have had two more children together.
He is kind, thoughtful, emotionally available and supportive and I can confidently say he adores me and our family. He completely shares the responsibilities of family life with me despite having a very demanding career and puts us first before anything.
DH and my ex couldn't be any less like each other. I give my head a wobble now when I think back and wonder why I put up with ex for so long or ever really thought we were in love. That 'love' was nothing compared to what I have with DH now.