Relation ship breakdown - custody of son

[Teddybear9915]

So me and my husband (we married in June last year) have split up we have been together 14 years and owned a house together for 9 years. We have a little boy 3.5 years. My husband never looks after our little boy as he says he can’t cope (son can push his buttons) but he’s told me I have made him ill by not allowing him to look after his own son. When he does and i’m Present the way he speaks to him is downgrading and disgusting.
Basically a long story but we have always had fights with his mum and dad to the point his mum and dad cane into our house and threatened me when son was months old. They only see son once a fortnight in our house for one hour after everything they have said and done to me they are lucky. They slagged me off to everyone they could, told me I did t have post natal depression when I did and have openly said all they want if for my husband to leave me so they can see our son more!!!!
Husband has moved back into their house and left our family home and they are already poising him against me.
I just wanted some advice on what I should do about husband seeing little one? I was going to offer 3 hours every other weekend and allow him to come play/bath/bed one evening a week.
I have an appointment with citazens advice this week to see if they can help but would welcome opinions!!! Also my mum said to still allow his mum and dad their visit still in our house once a fortnight and if they choose not to come then they miss out.
Please help!!!!!!

You might find that you have to have 50/50 shared care - however, I wouldn't allow his parents to come to your home, they can see their grandson when he's with his dad surely?

I wouldn't have my ex in the house either. I think it confuses kids to be honest.

I personally don’t want him in the house but he said he’s going to come every night (even though he moved out) I said it would confuse our little one then he got all nasty saying it was his house too etc and his son. I was just trying to find a short term solution until I seek legal advice.

I think you should prepare yourself for the fact that your husband is likely to be granted a lot more than 3 hours every other weekend, in fact anything up to 50/50 custody could be agreed. Also you need to be careful not to be seen as being obstructive to his contact with his son. Is he likely to accept such a small amount of time?

Obviously from your post he sounds awful, but that will be seen by solicitor/mediator/court as YOUR view of your ex & will not really be given much weight. Did you ring police over in laws behaviour, records of this would help if you are going to expect that to be taken into account.

Obviously when your son is with his dad, he can see your in-laws then so not sure why they need to come to your house?

He said he was going to come every night? And is that what he's doing?

Just bolt the door when you're inside, he can demand all he likes.

Oh and another thing. He doesn't get to decide who see's who where and when. You agree between you, or the courts decide.

If the OP has always done all the care gpr her son there is no reason to suppose a court will order 50:50 shared care. An arrangement that builds to eow plus one night in the week is far more likely.

There's no way he's only going to get a few hours EOW....I'd be careful not to be seen as obstructive. His parents are neither here nor there in this and they will see your son more now.

Keep you ex out if the house for starters.

I’d go for eow and maybe 1 night a week. If you go to court it’s likely that 3 hrs a week won’t be enough. If you insist on that you may be seen as being unreasonable and the court will decide. Be reasonable and the judge will likely grant what you suggest.

I know you don’t want to, but he is your ex’s son too, and as such he has 50% parental responsibility. As for the GP, they can see your son when your ex has them. They are nothing to do with you any longer. Don’t engage with them