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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice Please

2 replies

melanieb32 · 10/03/2019 09:46

I'm new to this, I'm a mum of a little boy 3 and a half been married for 5 years, since my little one came along my oh has been selfish disinterested in our lo, unhelpful etc he's been like this for 3 and a half years and I know it's not going to get any better he's short tempered with my lo resents having to do anything with him it's an effort for him to do 1 bath a week. Tonight has been the last straw and I know what I want to do I guess I'm just scared of taking that step and am looking for a bit of reassurance, oh has worked till lunch, I've been at home with lo as he has had a cough this week so wanted to keep him home and warm oh comes home gets changed and goes to pub comes home 2 hours later with a mate who he takes home an hour later at 4pm and gets back at 5pm at which point lo is having his tea he plays with him for 30 mins lo says at 6. 45 he wants to go to bed and wants oh to do it, normally it's me, oh declares he is starving and going to macdonalds first! He's had 2 hours to do this and lo wants to go to bed I just despair that oh will not help at all I want to leave but obs worried about money house etc just think I need to do it sooner rather than later

OP posts:
Lozzerbmc · 11/03/2019 18:32

I can understand your frustration at him not helping enough with your son , its not uncommon sadly. My DP loves our son but has never been hands on remotely.

Have you spoken to him about this? If so what did he say ? You say leave, cant you stay in the house?. Are you working?

melanieb32 · 12/03/2019 17:35

Thanks Lozzerbmc for your reply x I am working albeit 2 part time jobs I've tried talking tonight and hes just turned it around on me saying my idea of a dad for our son is different to his I'm suggesting a trial separation to see if we still want to be together but to be honest the fight has gone out of me

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