Very scared of my abusive ex

[Buzulica30]

Good morning,
Recently I have left my very abusive partner and ran away abroad, now living in hiding. He doesn't know any addresses of those who are helping me, neither in UK nor somewhere else. However, my ex has sent me loads of nasty messages, threatening to find me and then torture and kill me, to blow up my parents home, and so on. He says he has connections with mafia which he will use against me.
I am so scared to come back to UK, but soon I will have to. I am planning to get a job far away from my previous location where nobody knows me or him. Can he still find me? If he reported me missing when I disappeared, would the police tell me about my whereabouts or hand me over to him?
Please tell me how to ensure my safety, I am so scared as his words seem so real! He is ready to do anything to catch me!

That is terrifying you must talk the Domestic Violence unit for the police. You need to plan very carefully before coming back.

It's nothing I have experience with. Do you have texts, voicemails etc. any evidence of his violent threats? Has he said anything in front of witnesses?

Make sure you don't give ANY identifying information on this thread. Also, have you replaced your phone in case he has software on it for tracing your movements? Make sure you get all the info and evidence from the previous phone first. You could get in cleaned off and apps removed but I think I would replace it.

Yes, I have saved everything on my old phone, of course I am too scared to use it so got a new phone and a sim card. He used to threaten to me just behind closed doors, so no witnesses...
Now I dont keep any contact with him, but still cannot sleep at nights out of fear.... he also wrote he would accuse me of some criminal activity and i will get arrested, even though i never did anything unlawful!
Can i really be busted at an airport when coming back to the UK? Or be forced to meet him or reveal my new location? Or get sent back from the country i am in now?
We have no kids by the way, so he cannot demand access to any...

He absolutely cannot get any organisation, police or otherwise, to force you to meet him or to reveal your location even if he reports you missing. You are an adult. He doesn't have that power over another adult.

I would contact the police yourself, explain the situation and forward his texts. They will not force you to be a witness in a case against him, they will be lead by you. If you say you just want it logged that is all they will do. Then if he reports you missing or accuses you of a crime, the police will know it's bollox. They may even arrest and prosecute HIM for wasting police time. Your actions have not been criminal, his HAVE. Threatening to torture and murder you is a crime!

I guarantee he has no mafia connections. If he did he would know that the mafia would not look kindly on anyone using them for a personal domestic vendetta! More likely to beat the shite outta him as a warning than come anywhere near you!

This guy is using your fears against you. This shite he is spouting is shite. Scary shite, but still shite. Please contact a dv organisation and allow them to reassure you that he does not have the power to do these things. You are an adult and allowed legally to vanish if you wish. Making up crimes, fraudulently reporting someone as missing is not legal. Treats to kill are a crime. Highly unlikely that he isn't known to the police for this kinda shite towards women already. They will not believe him, and he knows it's not legal to use the police as a treat in this way.

There are organisations that will support you, in confidence, so use them.

Are you a British citizen? If there is a British Embassy or Consulate in the country you are currently staying in, then perhaps you could go there and tell them everything. If you aren't, but he is British or you know he is currently in the UK, then you could still report him and the abuse to them.

Hope you are ok.

Inform the police you've left because he's abusive and say you're telling them in case he files a missing person report.

Has he made those threats in writing?

Sweetie it is VERY important that you contact the police and show them.

He then needs to be very firmly arrested and a safety plan, discussed and managed by many professional eyes, be placed immediately around you and any children and family members.

Promise you will do this, is it THE way to sort it.

Do it quick and get him arrested. He will have immediate bail conditions put around him, if considered safe, and if he breaches them, you tell and he could wait in prison till the trial.

What do you think?