Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Any Facebook experts around?

23 replies

Huskylover1 · 09/03/2019 22:19

Long story short, DH works very closely with a woman that makes me nervous.

There's a Facebook thing, that I cannot understand. According to their Friends lists, they are not FB friends. However, on looking at her profile, she tagged him in something a few months ago, and he has seen it and commented on it.

How is this possible? If they weren't friends, he would not have seen it and been able to comment.

Any thoughts welcome!!

OP posts:

nancy75 · 09/03/2019 22:21

If her facebook is not set to private anyone can see comments can’t they?

dontpointatme · 09/03/2019 22:23

If you look for the same post on his page, does it appear?

When I was on the receiving end of this, the woman blocked me so that didn't help as I couldn't see anything she tagged him in!!

SavoyCabbage · 09/03/2019 22:23

If you can see it that means her page isn’t private and she or anyone at work could say ‘have you seen the picture of you on my/linda’s Facebook?’ and then he could look and comment.

MaHeidsGouping · 09/03/2019 22:23

Is her profile public?

I was going to say that their friends list are set so no-one can see...can you see both friend lists?

ohwhatatodoitis · 09/03/2019 22:24

If they have friends in common, this is possible.

She uploads a photo. A friend on her list who is also friends with your DH, tags him in it. Once he's tagged in it, he can see it and comment on it.

I think anyway.

I don't think she can tag him in it if he isn't on her friend list, unless the photo is within some kind of group they both belong to.

Original poster

Huskylover1 · 09/03/2019 22:24

If you look for the same post on his page, does it appear?

No, it doesn't. There's no trace on his FB at all.

OP posts:

StereophonicallyChallenged · 09/03/2019 22:24

They could be in a group together?

teabreakchats · 09/03/2019 22:25

I suspect they used to be friends , and we're friends at the time she tagged him, and they have since unfriended each other

Original poster

Huskylover1 · 09/03/2019 22:25

She is the one who tagged him.

OP posts:

Original poster

Huskylover1 · 09/03/2019 22:26

It's doing my head in!

OP posts:

Thelieswetelltoourselves · 09/03/2019 22:29

Is either of their friends list set to private?

lms2017 · 09/03/2019 22:31

Can you see both friends lists ? . His and hers .

You can set up your account so that certain people cannot see what you get tagged in and what's on your page.each time u create a post you can do this I think it's called audience view? .. you can also set it so that you have to approve everything you are tagged in to appear on your profile so possibly unless he approves it it won't be on his page.

What was it he was tagged in ? .

lms2017 · 09/03/2019 22:33

Also why does she make you nervous? Xx

cushioncuddle · 09/03/2019 22:43

Her setting could be set at.

Open to friends of friends. This means mutual friends can be tagged into it.

Open to public. This means anyone could be tagged into something she posts.

Friends once. Tagged your husband and they unfriended sometime after.

Your husbands fb could be set at friends only so will not show her post.

You are blocked in seeing her posts on husbands feed.

There are lots of options and doesn't have to be the last one.

TokenGinger · 09/03/2019 22:43

My friend's list is private. If somebody tries to see if I am friends with somebody, they won't be able to because my privacy settings are tight.

Either your husband or the woman just has tight security. You'll see your husband tagged because you are friends with him.

You can see which one it is by looking at their friends list. If it comes up blank, it means they don't have their friends list public.

The other option is they were friends and one has deleted the other.

Adelino · 09/03/2019 22:50

I have my setting so that if someone tags me in something I get a notification and have to approve it before it will show on my timeline. This is probably why it isn't showing on his page- he hasn't got around to approving it.
Its also possible to tag people you're not friends with. Presumably she wrote in his full name, his picture came up and she selected that.

GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough · 09/03/2019 23:12

My mil tags me in things and I'm not Facebook friends with her she does it by putting @ at the beginning of my name

babysharkah · 09/03/2019 23:13

Somebody isn't set to private and locked down friends of friends viewing.

liamhemsworthsrealwife · 10/03/2019 01:41

They're friends but she has her friends set to private and tight privacy settings.

WelcomeToShootingStars · 10/03/2019 10:56

I have my settings so I have to approve any post on my page that I'm tagged in. And I never do because I can't be arsed.

But the post still shows on the page of whoever tagged me and anyone else tagged. If her profile is fairly open then you'd see it. Or if you have a friend who's tagged you'd see it.

WelcomeToShootingStars · 10/03/2019 10:58

Even if they were friends and had their friends lists private, you still see mutual friends.

Musti · 10/03/2019 11:32

Maybe they have mutual friends or they are friends but one of them has the friends list set to private. There is nothing sinister about it.

sobernotjustforoctober · 10/03/2019 12:02

If one or both of them have their friends list set to private then you will not be able to tell if they are friends.

So for instance, if her friends list is private and your dh's friend list is public, you can search for her on your dh's friends but she will never come up as her friends list is private.

I've noticed this a few times when I've been snooping on Facebook.

Most likely it's innocent and they are friends and that is how she has been able to tag him.

You'll never know unless you ask him.

Flip