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Relationships

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30 weeks pregnant, partner backing off and avoiding spending time with me. Any advice??

1 reply

edinanon · 09/03/2019 21:34

I'm pregnant with my first baby, which my husband and I both really wanted, planned and waited 2 years to conceive.

In the early weeks of pregnancy, husband seemed happy and excited about the pregnancy, although he started making a big deal about how we weren't having sex much - even when I repeatedly explained how exhausted I felt, and how it's hard to feel nauseous and sexy at the same time.

I'm now 30 weeks pregnant and in the last few weeks, it feels like he has emotionally withdrawn from both me and the unborn baby.
He's started going out a lot in the evenings and not inviting me, often coming back late at night but not messaging to let me know. When he is here he rarely asks about my day or how I'm feeling. When I've asked if he wants to feel the baby kicking, he's not really interested.
I'd be happy to have sex since the nausea stopped ages ago, but now he has little interest (as he says it's weird knowing there's a baby right there) and isn't particularly cuddly or affectionate either. I suspect my changing body is freaking him out.

I've been having bad mood swings since starting the 3rd trimester, feeling down and weepy a lot. Have tried telling my husband how vulnerable I feel at the moment and that I need him more - i.e. hinting that I would prefer him to spend some time with me instead of going out so much and leaving me here on my own!! He says that's too much pressure to put on him, and he can't be responsible for my happiness. Feels like he's becoming distant and avoidant - but I know that if I push more, he'll back away even further (he tends towards an avoidant attachment style and his mum was emotionally abusive to him as a child).

My main worry is that this will continue once the baby is born and that I'll be very much alone.

Any advice???

OP posts:
warriorprincessandwidowed · 09/03/2019 21:51

Nip it in the bud now.
He sounds like a twat.
All men get scared I know my husband did and he told me he was. But he still did everything for me and with me and for our babies.

This is not not normal behaviour. You will have problems long term if you don't call him out on being a twat.

You deserve love and respect and actually he us responsible for your well being why your growing his baby.

The moment your baby comes how will he handle late nights and the first black shit. And the cord dropping off... that's all body changes in a baby. What will he reject your little bundle.... This I tell you is not normal and good luck

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