Has anyone else lost their entire extended family?

[SplinterSplit]

I have & it's miserable. I have no-one. Literally no-one. I make do the best I can with friends but it's not the same. Anyone else in the same boat? How do you manage the loss of belonging?

hi op. i also don't have anyone. i guess i never had any sense of belonging in the first place so am just used to it i guess. it is hard though as friends often talk about going to their brother's or mum's for lunch or whatever and it sounds like it would be nice to have that. but dwelling on it makes it feel worse and also that people don't really get it. it's like oh but what about your parents? nope? siblings nope? then there's the awkward pause. makes you feel like an alien

Oh I am so sorry. 💐
I have lost all my immediate family - parents and sister
Have you gone and spoken with someone about those feelings. Maybe start with GP and ask for referral.
Can you re-frame for yourself - I am here, it’s odd and hard but what can I do to make other close relationships? What can I give.?
Making sure I have other people and lots different ages and stages helps me. Being creative helps me.
Take care.

Yes - it's horrible but in the long term quite freeing, I don't have to live up to anyone's expectations and have a tight little family unit with just me and the kids. I feel guilty my children don't have aunts, grandparents, cousins etc and worry who would care for them if I was ill or died. But I feel totally blessed to have them. I can't give any advice but you aren't the only one even if it can seem like that at times!

My extended family are in contact with my abusive parents. This means I can't see them as they can't have any information about my children.

Me. I am always carrying round a sense of loss and isolation. It cuts to the core.

Yes, have lost Mum,Dad, 2 Brothers 1 Sister, have got 1 sister still alive, really hope I go before her, because I don’t want to be the last one alive, I have my own family, wife, son and 2 grandchildren, but wife emotionally abuses me, I just want to be with my family ‘on the other side’, feel so alone

Me I was adopted by older parents, both still alive but I barely see. No siblings or aunts/uncles so I’ve alwayd been alone.

I’m very used to it & luckily have a few friendly aquaintaces & speak to. I have my own children who are very young so they keeep me active. My husband left me & ive now no real adult conversation after 4pm.

It’s no ideal & I feel sorry for my kids but things could be worse so I get on with it.

Mother died, father a paedophile. Extended family supporting my father. Fortunately I have a supportive husband and 4 beautiful children, but still very sad especially when I see large family groups and hear about happy family get togethers

Yes it's the constant hearing about others family get togethers

It's like twisting the knife

Zac - I'm not surprised you feel so down. Do you have any friends?

My mum and dad have both died and I have no siblings. No other family to speak of and yes it's hard but it means I don't have to navigate through any family squabbles either, so there's a small silver lining!

It's a situation I'm dealing with everyday at work, you really aren't alone. As I work for a church, we attract those looking for a place to belong, and I really hope they do feel they have an adopted family. Alas I've organised multiple funerals where social services could not trace a single family member and no authority was left with their executor (no will at all typically) eventually the court authorises the funeral to proceed many weeks later after newspaper ads are run to trace family - if you do not have family please remember that there's a welcome at churches (well ordinary middle of the road ones like ours) and please ensure you have written instructions for if/when something happens to you. I have 26 people for lunch next week, all have no one locally, different reasons but saddens me all the same

I’ve just read a book about this called Everyone Died so I got a Dog by Emily Dean. She lost her sister and her parents in 3 years, and she’s very honest about it. It’s funny and a bit show bizzy, but also helpful and touching. I recommend it._

My family fractured when first my grandmother died, then my step father, then my mother. We have all gone our separate ways, and I'm quite frankly stunned by it all.
I have adult DC and grandchildren but they are too busy to see me often.
Friends have died/moved away, just one or two left who have lives, family and partners of their own.
Feel so isolated and can't wait until I see my mother and grandmother again.

Yes my mum and dad and all of my aunties and uncles have died. I have one brother left. I am the next generation

Yes, and it's very lonely

Yes but not through death. Grew up in a fucked up weird family and we all got out of there as soon as we could. Dad was in the forces so we never bonded with extended family.

I haven’t seen my brother or sister in years. Don’t talk to them or keep in contact. My DM calls once every 6 months or so.

I text my friend today to see if she wanted to meet up and she said “sorry we’re at a family roast at my mums”. It’s very painful to have such a normal thing missing from your life