Husband keeps having a go at me for not hearing

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Is this normal? If I am speaking he will say 'why are you shouting?'. I am sure he is saying it to make me feel self conscious. Yes, I might be a bit more excited so slightly louder. His comments really bring me down.

He just phoned me from the supermarket and the signal is poor so he kept breaking up. I told him I couldn't hear and he shouted down the phone and said people turned around so if I can't hear him I have a problem.

I'm not deaf! I'm just fed up with the way he speaks. Personally, I think he mumbles a bit and he doesn't always look at me when he speaks. I don't have trouble hearing anyone else.

His comments just seem mean.

Not the same, but I have trouble hearing/understanding my (20-something) son sometimes, and it's because he mumbles. I often have to remind him "speak slowly and clearly" if he's about to make a phone call or go into a shop. He sometimes has to repeat himself 3 times before I can understand him, let alone anyone else.

He would never take the piss out of me for it though.

I am partly deaf, and my ex would use this against me, claiming that I was the one who mumbled. Yet I hear fine with my hearing aids.

That you are hearing other people perfectly fine, does look like it's him with the problem, and yes the comments are mean. Is he mean about anything else?

Do you tell him he mumbles? Have you told him you can hear other people perfectly well? A poor signal is not evidence of a hearing problem, it's evidence of a poor signal.

Why do you speak slightly louder, what are you excited about?

You don't need to look at someone when you speak to them. Do you mean he is turned away?

On the information given, we don't know if it is your hearing or his rudeness that is the problem. Or both.

While he sounds very annoying, I would still get your hearing checked. I didn't realise how shortsighted I was until I got glasses.
If your hearing is fine then you can tell him where to stick his comments, if it isn't fine you can get some treatment.

@Tomtontom it depends! It's not all the time, but yes when I get excited about something I probably do speak more loudly! I accept that. I just don't like the way he says 'why are you speaking so loudly.' I find it rude.

I'm not trying to be funny, but you maybe are a little hard of hearing?
My sister, all her life, has always kept saying 'eh, eh' after anyone has said anything to her. We just thought she was being self absorbed and not listening. She has now found out she is hard of hearing in one ear and needs a hearing aid.

Do you possibly have auditory processing issues? When under stress, some people can't process language effectively (i.e. their brain can register the decibels coming in, no problem, but can't actually make out the words. It sounds like mumbling to them). Being on the phone with a not-great signal can be enough to prevent such a person understanding what is being said.

You could ask him to text not phone? (written language can often be easier to process when under stress)

I work with kids. A lot of them have absolutely no idea that their voices are so fucking loud, because they're surrounded by noise all the fucking time. Like songbirds sing louder in the City because they're shouting to be heard over the traffic. And they get quite het up/excited about things, too.

Now, they're really good at understanding when I'm facing them and can use hand gestures/say to them quietly 'You're only 'this far' away from me. I can hear you just as well if you bring it down a bit'. But they need encouraging, rather than how some staff react with 'You're shouting at me!'. The musicians I know who haven't taken care of their hearing can be terrible at this, too.

I think you are probably bellowing at your OH when you're excited - and that is not a pleasant experience - he needs to word it differently (or be absolutely blunt, maybe even using an Sound Pressure Level app to show you just how loud you are being), you need to acknowledge that being excited doesn't make having somebody wallop you with a massively raised voice any more pleasant - and, yes, you also need to get your GP to refer you for a proper hearing test, as you could have some degree of hearing loss making it not that he's mumbling, but that you haven't realised just how much you have lost.

Honestly, I'd go have my hearing tested so I could show him the results and tell him that since my hearing is perfectly normal, it must be HIM who has the problem so maybe he should see a speech specialist.

Op, I mean this nicely but talking loudly is rude, and draining, there’s no need whether you re excited or not. His comments will stop when you stop shouting.

DH is going deaf. So am I. He’s also from a culture where everyone shouts at each other. It’s sounds like an argument to me but that’s just normal, then they turn the tv up so they can hear it over the din and then they start shouting over the tv until eventually I am wincing at the noise, even with tinnitus. DH has noticed it more since he moved out.

Anyway we constantly have this conversation of “stop shouting” or asking 6 times for something at increasing levels. It’s because we are both becoming aged.

Another one who would advise you to get your hearing tested. I've lost the lower range of hearing, so cannot hear some people with deep voices. I'm fine with voices that are in a higher register.
Also, the fact that you find it difficult to hear if he is turned away from you might be a sign that you are lip reading. Most people who gradually loose their hearing lip read without being aware of it

If you can hear other people with no problem then it could that he is mumbling. My dh mumbles as well luckily other people have told him so it’s not just my opinion, because yes he did try to accuse me of going deaf!
Your dh sounds easily irritated tell him to calm down!

I would get a hearing check.

If everything's fine then it's all the evidence you need that your DH is something of a mumbler.

If there's a problem, you may be able to get help with your hearing and prevent these kinds of arguments in the future.