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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling abandoned

2 replies

noodlehead15 · 09/03/2019 07:09

I'm feeling abandoned after having twins - they are 13 months old , what can I do? Is this normal?

I don't expect anyone to stop living their lives but I just feel left in the dust. A friend is getting married and I'm feeling slightly left out anyway because most of a group of friends are bridesmaids. They're also going on an expensive hen do abroad - they gave me a day's warning to decide if I wanted to join, and spend £500. It's obviously fine if they want to go but I felt it wasn't very considerate of them to give a days warning.

A lady I thought was a good friend has just not bothered with their birthdays. It just shows she doesn't care. The same friend cancelled an event with me the day before we were due to go, making the trip more expensive so I had to cancel. I had really looked forward to the trip. It's like she's in the stage of her life where she doesn't have to give much thought to anything and I have a lot to plan. I'm not saying I don't love my life or that it wasn't my responsibility to have twins, I'm just saying it hurts to be misunderstood and treated with no consideration.

A separate issue is that I have had to leave work because childcare is expensive and my job was poorly paid. It seems that a lot of people I know are professionals (I lost my job due to budget cuts and had to take on a poorly paid job) and have one baby so their lives didn't have to change as drastically as mine

I know the twins are my responsibility and that I shouldn't expect any help but if the shoe was on the other foot I would show some love. Some of my friends have had kids and I really do care for them.

OP posts:
Alienspaceship · 09/03/2019 07:20

It sounds as though your life has gone in a different direction to all these friends. Can you find new friends more similar to you? Baby groups is an obvious way to do his. Good luck.

noodlehead15 · 09/03/2019 07:26

Yeah I've started to go to them and slowly making friends. Thank you.

OP posts:
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