Going out alone?

[Justme1981]

Hi all
Im a single mum, had some OLD but its really not for me - i get on well with anyone via messages but no chemistry in real life ... anyway ive been googling (as you do) lots of articles suggest going out alone. I struggle with childcare so its difficult to go out with a friend. Would you go out alone? Anyone done it? Im seriously thinking about getting myself a drink somewhere but am worried people will think ive been stood up! Thoughts please???

I’d worry about this too! I go to the cinema alone though and love that :)

I don’t think anyone is interested to be honest. Probably something that gets easier each time!

I go out on my own all the time!

For dinner; to the pub for a pint; to see local bands play... I take a book with me to the pub; I dance to the music.

I love it.

I've never got talking to anyone mind - I either get ignored (which I prefer) or hit on by men it is very easy to deflect.

Seriously, as a single person who goes out alone all the time myself, go out and enjoy yourself. For the most part, people are too involved with their own thoughts or friends to worry about others in public places. And if they do notice you, who cares?

It wouldn't be for me. The whole point of going out for me is to socialise with friends or be with my partner. But some people like it and that's normal for them.

I go out for food on my own or cinema.

But when I've travelled with work, stayed over night in a hotel I've found a lot of single men are there. (Well they say single) I've never gone there.

But lately I've contemplated a night away in a hotel

I've always gone out alone much more than I've gone with people. I do it through choice. I go to salsa (and tango/bachata/zouk etc) clubs. They are just bars/nightclubs that have dance classes followed by a normal club night that just happens to play that type of music. Most people go alone and there are all ages. It wouldn't even occur to me to arrange to go with anyone - and this is something I've been doing for 25 years now.

I've also gone on more holidays alone than I've gone with people - but they've been generally activity ones (just going to salsa clubs in another country for example) or cycling in Holland or skiing. It forces you to mix more than if you go with someone and is consequently more exciting/interesting in my opinion.

All the time. Cinema on my own! I love it! it’s only the same as watching a film at home on your own. Food as well, it’s only the same as eating your dinner at home on your own. Take a book if you feel self conscious. Sometimes I take a little notepad to journal or make my to do lists.

What the intention for going out alone?
You mentioned on-line dating. Is it to find a partner or just have something to break your routine.

To answer your question, I think be adventurous, try it and see if you personally like it. Sounds like you're open to it - there's nothing to lose. People are generally quite friendly if you are open.

Why not turn it into a fun challenge, every week or month try something new.

Night out in a bar
Night out in a club
Cinema afternoon
Go to a talk
Visit an exhibition

Other option is to join meet-up groups. I did this when I was single. It helps you to meet new people in the same boat.

Have fun :)

@thecatneuterer I've always wanted to go on holiday myself. Maybe a cruise or something.

Other than an activity holiday have you done other types on your own?

Just wondering how you found it?

Thanks everyone, good to know that other people go out alone & its actually quite a normal thing to do!
blueskies its to hopefully meet people as well as do something nice for me, i like your idea of a challenge to try something new everymonth
sixtyonestreet i think you are right it probably would get easier over time! Im so used to being part of a couple, i think im over thinking it!

@lifegoes Yes I've also been on 'normal' holidays alone - three weeks in Gambia for example - just a normal holiday package. And when I say 'activity' holiday, I don't mean anything organised (apart from the skiing). I just took my bicycle and went round Holland staying in youth hostels, and I've been countless times to European cities alone - but I know that wherever there is a salsa club I can just go and fit it.

I've always enjoyed it. It forces you to meet people - much more so than if you go with someone. Plus you can completely please yourself about what you do - so no museums/art galleries/tour buses for me - just whatever I fancy doing.

Right everyone, im going to challenge myself to go to my favourite gastro pub this month. Any tips for going it alone & faking or being confident??

I go out alone (for coffee or food or whatever) but nobody ever speaks to me.

Do you take a book or anything? Im worried about looking odd or like ive been stood up! 🤷‍♀️

The more you do it the less you will care about what other people think and looking like you are stood up. I take a book/magazine/note pad/iPad etc. Or snacks if I am going to the cinema!

Thank you 👍 i think i just need to try it maybe?

I’ve been thinking about this too as I’ve been single just over a year and have lots of friends but they are all married with kids (as I was) so don’t want to go out much, which I understand.
There are often films I want to see at the cinema so I might start with doing that on my own and take it from there.
I agree that most people are too busy with their own lives to notice that person on their own.

I go for a drink after the gym on my own in a hotel bar, I regularly go for coffee alone & sometimes have lunch alone.

When I do this I usually use the WiFi to go on fb on my phone or whatever.

I don't put my ear buds in but still, no men ever talk to me.
And I always make an effort with my appearance!
I live in the South of England & men are very backward at coming forward here.

Just to say that I went on a holiday to NY on my own. I went to the theatre on my own (made friends with the people sat next to me), stayed in a youth hostel on my own (made friends with some ladies also travelling) and had some lovely days walking around the city marching to the beat of my own drum and not having to check what anyone else wanted to do. You will love it OP!

Thanks iampicklerick that sounds amazing!!

@Sunshineandflipflops sounds like you are in a similiar situation to me, enjoy the cinema 😄