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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Whose side should I be on?

7 replies

twentytimes · 08/03/2019 19:54

My DSD and my half sister are both in the same year group. Both are being accused of bullying each other and my mum and DP have had to go into school several times.

A group of my sisters friends had been making fun of DSD on and off for months, my sister never joined in and occasionally asked them to stop but mostly did nothing or laughed while it was happening. DSD then told everybody something she really shouldn’t have about my sister, this gave DSD’s friends something to make fun of my sister for. This has continued everyday for weeks, I think it’s mostly encouraged by both of their friends but there has been lots of really nasty comments between both of them.

I think they are as bad as each other, I love them both and don’t want either of them to be upset. My mum thinks it’s mainly DSD’s fault and my DP thinks it’s mainly my sisters fault so I’m completely in the middle.

At them moment I have sort of been taking DSD’s side by focusing on supporting her and left my mum to deal with my sister. This has meant I’ve not been seeing my sister as much as I would before, I would normally often help my mum out by looking after my siblings and also take my sister out regularly just to spend time together. Obviously my mum and sister are both hurt by this.

Am I doing the right thing?

OP posts:
twentytimes · 09/03/2019 21:46

Anyone?

OP posts:
lljkk · 09/03/2019 22:01

It's a bit Jeremy Kyle.
How old?
They may be genuine best friends next week.

Singlenotsingle · 09/03/2019 22:05

Just stay out of it. Otherwise you might find you're in everyone's firing line.

Merryoldgoat · 09/03/2019 22:11

Personally it sounds like your sister started it and your DSD fInally snapped.

Bullying is despicable and both girls need to be stopped.

Warmhandscoldheart · 09/03/2019 22:13

Try to find an activity they both enjoy and take them there together e,g cinema, shopping or even vertical wall climbing!! Encourage them to see each other as people not rivals

MrsTerryPratcett · 09/03/2019 22:17

Adults shouldn't b taking sides at all. What they should be doing is encouraging resilience (to deal with it) and kindness (to not do it) in whichever child they have contact with.

Taking sides is completely counterproductive (and childish).

SandyY2K · 10/03/2019 02:20

Not your question, but does the school have a counselling service?

Both girls would benefit or a professional mediator for them to try and resolve the conflict.

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