I don't know what to do about this new relationship

[TheNewSchmooo]

Please don't flame me for this, I'm feeling rather sensitive about it and not sure what to do.

I've been seeing someone for about 5 months. I'm very different to his exes. They are very attractive, 'polished' women - slim, toned, tanned, sleek and glamorous... they have jobs in fitness and beauty.

I'm about as opposite to that as it's possible to be. Every word I've used to describe them, the opposite would be applicable to me.

I'm really struggling at the moment with thoughts that I'm not good enough for him; not as good as his exes; that his friends/family will wonder what he sees in me... If I'm honest, I'm wondering that myself.

I really like him but I also know that the longer this goes on, the worse it will get.

He wouldn't be with you if he didn't like you. Polish is just surface and you see the real person inside.
You are probably a lovely person and very attractive in your own way.
Tell yourself how wonderful you are. Sexy, fun, beautiful, kind...
all the things you are. The others are exes, you are the present, and probably the future too.
Love yourself.

He does say that I'm lovely and I'm kind and I make him laugh.

But I'm just so different to his 'type'.

I'm not sexy or beautiful. I'm not cute or pretty.

I suppose I'm also conscious that my lack of 'polish' has been an issue in previous relationships for other men. Esp when they realise that I never wear heels and my "I don't wear make up position" is actually just a fact and not an occasional quirk.

That sort of thing.

Well, you know, they are exes.

But, you need to stop tearing yourself down.

And if he's not making you feel good about yourself, you ought to rethink being in the relationship. It's really not a good dynamic where you're thinking yourself not good enough for him. You'd be better off doing some counselling and building yourself up than being in a relationship like that.

How do you know about all his ex girlfriends? How do you know what they were like? Who told you?

Yes I wondered how you know his exes.

If you have known him five months he must know by now you don’t wear make up or heels so he is obviously fine with it.

My DP (soon to be DH) is the opposite of my exes. Physically and mentally he's very different and that is the reason I said yes when he asked me out for a drink. Its also why he's the only man I've ever wanted to marry. He's not the same as them, he's so much better.

Have some faith OP. Your boyfriend sees something in you that you're not seeing yourself.

I've met his exwife. I know of his other significant ex. There have only been a couple. He was married for 20 years and had one relationship after they divorced that ended a year ago.

He hasn't really done or said anything that has given me cause for concern but it's just that it's happened so many times before. I recently met some of his friends/family and he hasn't fedback at all. He was really keen for us to meet so I suppose I just expected some sort of response to it. The fact there hasn't been any makes me think that maybe they said something unflattering and he doesn't want to hurt my feelings.

He clearly has a type - tanned, long dark hair, toned body and I'm not it.

2 women is not a "type". If he didnt like you and find you attractive, he wouldnt be with you. Using your own logic, he can evidently attract these conventionally attractive women - but he has chosen to be with YOU. Is he good to you? Is he kind, does he love you and your untanned, untoned body? I bet he does.

It's obviously very early days, so no love, but he is good to me and very kind.

There is a reason they are exes!
Ask him for some feedback. Maybe he loves the fact you don't hide behind a mask, what you see is what you get so to speak.

They are very attractive, 'polished' women - slim, toned, tanned, sleek and glamorous... they have jobs in fitness and beauty.

And every relationship failed.

Maybe he went for someone like you (ie the opposite of all that) deliberately? And so far it's working isn't it?